


Different

by c_equestrian13



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-13 17:21:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 35,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2158872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c_equestrian13/pseuds/c_equestrian13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Calum is the school's all-star footy player and Ashton is the new kid who's immediately labeled as a loser. There's a silent rule at school that the popular people don't associate with the losers, so when king of the poplar’s Calum Hood talks to Ashton Irwin, things change. The big question is, is it for the better, or for the worse?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so I just randomly got this idea for a cashton fanfiction and this happened.. I probably won't continue it if everyone hates it, but yeah, just let me know? or not, thats cool too. sorry okay bye

Today was Ashton’s first day at a new school, and to say he was nervous would be an understatement. 

It was also his senior year, so to sum it up for you, Ashton was completely screwed.

He didn’t want to change schools no matter how bad the bullying got, but his mum was the boss and made the decision that he should. Her explanations for the move were that ‘a black eye means a bad school’ and ‘if a teacher doesn’t do something about those bullies, I will’ and so forth. 

Ashton had been bullied for a lot of reasons, such as not being good at anything. He didn’t get good grades, he couldn’t play a sport, and anything to do with art was a disgrace. He was good in music though, probably being the best drummer in the whole school, but people used it against him and made fun of his ways when he would tap his fingers to a beat on the desk to a rhythm only he could hear. The main reason Ashton was bullied was because he was openly gay. Sure, there were people that were okay with it, but for the group of boys that decided to make his life miserable, it was anything but. Ashton also was on the smaller side compared to other boys at his school, standing at 5’9”. 

Because he was small, he used to be an easy target to the jocks simply because his limbs might as well been twigs from a dying tree. But that changed over the summer. After finding out his mum made the decision to change schools, Ashton had started to work out in hopes this would stop the bullies at least a little. He also continued to play the drums, causing his arms to suddenly grow in strength, and because of the constant hours at the gym, it also created a solid stomach and an overall decent body. 

It’s not like Ashton was unattractive, because he wasn’t. Yeah, he thought he was anything but, but after working out he started to like himself a little more. Don’t get him wrong, he still hated himself, but he preferred seeing the muscle instead of bones. 

Ashton had bright hazel eyes, light brown wavy locks, a set of straight white teeth, dimples that would show if you managed to get a real smile out of him, and tan skin. He was beautiful in the way that guys could be, and his mom constantly tried to make him realize, failing every time. Ashton understood why the bullies had picked on him, but to no one else did. If it weren’t for the jocks, he probably could’ve been popular. He was nice, attractive, and musical. But because the bullies had picked him as their victim, Ashton was immediately categorized as the schools ‘loser’. 

Of course, his mother knew all of this. She knew that Ashton would be very liked if people hadn’t been so judgmental, and hoped that a new school with new people would allow others to realize his greatness.

Obviously Ashton had thought his mum was going crazy because he was so set on the fact that no one could like him. “There’s nothing to like,” is what he always said when his mum asked why, and every time he said it, her heart would break a little more. 

A new school would be a good thing. It had to be, so that’s why Ashton’s mum drove up to the unfamiliar building with a smile. 

“I still don’t see why I couldn’t have driven myself,” Ashton muttered, gathering the things that fell out of his backpack on the sharp turns back into the bag.

His mum simply shrugged her frail shoulders. “It’s your first day of your last year of high school. It’s something special, honey, so why would I want to miss it?”

“Whatever.”

“Have a good day, sweetie!” Ashton’s mum called as Ashton stepped out of the beat up car. 

All Ashton did was wave and sling his backpack over his shoulder, sending his mum a small smile before heading to the front doors of the school. 

The inside of the school wasn’t really different from his old one. The halls were long and wide, lined with red lockers on the sides and talkative teens in the middle. Ashton was told that on his first day he would have to go to the front office to get all the information he needed, so he tried to find it. 

Luckily it was the first room to his left, so Ashton didn’t have to ask someone where to go who would most likely judge him for being new.

Entering the rather small room, Ashton was greeted by a plump lady with gray hair pulled back in a tight bun and red glasses that rested on the brim of her nose. She had looked up from her computer as Ashton entered, a forced smile forming on her face as she took the boy in. 

“Hello,” she said. “My names Ms. Thomas, can I help you with something?”

Ashton nodded. “Um, hi, yes, my names Ashton Irwin. I’m new here and I was told by the school that I should come to this office on my first day.”

“Okay, let me just look you up on my computer and I’ll print out the things you need,” Ms. Thomas replied, returning her attention to the device in front of her as she began typing on the key board.

Ashton allowed the lady in front of him a few minutes so that she could find his necessary information. He ended up awkwardly standing in his spot and fiddling with his backpack straps, staring around the room pretending to find the clock interesting so he didn’t seem like a complete weirdo.

“Ah, yes, here is everything. I’ll just print it all out,” Ms. Thomas finally spoke. The printer in the back corner started to make noise, so Ms. Thomas waddled over in the direction of it because of her weight.

She returned with papers in her hands, and she reached across her desk so that Ashton could grab them. “Here is your schedule and locker combination, and here,” she paused and pulled something out of the bottom drawer of her desk, “is your lock.”

“Thanks,” Ashton mumbled, readjusting things in his arms so that he could hold everything comfortably.

“This is Luke by the way, and he’s going to help you around for the day,” Ms. Thomas continued, gesturing to behind Ashton as she sat back down in her black leather chair.

Ashton hadn’t realized anyone else in the room, but when he turned around, sure enough, stood the boy he assumed was Luke. He was tall and lanky with blonde hair and blue eyes.

“Hi,” he greeted with a dimpled smile. “I’m Luke.”

Ashton returned the smile because he could tell that Luke was generally being nice. “Hi, I’m Ashton.”

“Luke is in the grade below you, but he’s in some of your classes,” Ms. Thomas explained.

Ashton gave Luke a questioning look. “How come?”

“Um, my classes were too easy so they moved me up in some,” Luke answered, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

In response all Ashton did was raise his eyebrows and nod because he couldn’t lie; he was impressed.

“All right, off you go!” Ms. Thomas said, moving her hands in a ‘scurry’ manner. 

Luke led the way out of the office and Ashton was quick to catch up with him.

“So you’re in eleventh grade?”

“Ya, I just turned 16,” Luke nodded. 

“Wow I feel old,” Ashton laughed. “I’m 18.”

A comfortable silence fell between them as Luke guided Ashton through the hectic hallway.

Eventually they came to a stop at a locker with a faded ‘165’ on a silver plate near the top.

“This is your locker,” Luke said. 

“Oh cool,” Ashton replied, opening the door and looping the lock through the lock on the door. He put some of his books in the locker and kept the ones he thought he needed in his backpack. After he was finished, Ashton closed the locker and clicked the lock shut, making sure his combination was somewhere accessible in case he forgot it later on. 

“We have 10 minutes to get to class, so we should get going,” Luke told Ashton as he started to walk to the left. 

Ashton nodded and followed Luke again, letting his eyes wander around his surroundings. 

The people that went to school here were your typical high school students. There was the goths, the athletics, the artists, the nerds, and so on. 

There was one group that stood out to him, though. Well, there was one person, specifically a guy.

He was fairly tall and well-built with black hair, brown eyes; plump lips, a sharp jaw line, and something about his smile made Ashton think he could be friendly. 

“Who’s that?” Ashton asked Luke, nodding his head in the direction of the boy he had been previously checking out. 

Luke followed Ashton’s gaze and his eyes widened. “That’s Calum Hood, football star and most popular kid in school. I would stay away from him if I was you, he’s known to be trouble. Plus, our kind isn’t supposed to associate with his.”

“What do you mean ‘our kind’?”

“You’re the new kid, so that automatically puts you in the loser category, no offence. I’m in it too, don’t worry, but the losers aren’t supposed to associate with the populars. It’s like an unspoken rule.”

Ashton nodded, unable to keep his eyes off Calum. There was something about him that was just so intriguing. 

“Don’t stare, Ashton. It’s like you’re asking to get punched,” Luke told the older boy.

“Sorry, sorry, he just seems so different from the popular kids at my school,” Ashton said, breaking his gaze from Calum so that he could look at Luke.

“What do you mean?”

“He seems like he could be a nice guy, I don’t know.”

Luke shook his head vigorously. “Ashton, seriously, stay away from him. He sleeps around with girls and sometimes guys, he parties nonstop, and he thinks fighting people who don’t agree with him is fun.”

“Okay, yeah, sorry I don’t know what I was thinking,” Ashton replied, shaking his head to get rid of his thoughts as he continued to follow Luke down the hall.

“Let’s change the subject. We both have math first, so we should head there. We should…”

But Ashton had stopped listening to Luke, because for some god damn reason his main focus was on the boy he was told multiple times in only a couple of minutes to stay away from. 

So Ashton couldn’t help himself because when he knew Luke’s attention wasn’t completely on him, Ashton allowed himself to look at Calum once more. 

As Ashton quickly glanced over his shoulder, he was planning to look away right after, just so he could get one last quick look. But he couldn’t seem to, because when Ashton looked at Calum for what he hoped would be the last time intentionally, Calum was already staring right back at him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YOU GUYS ARE INSANE. THIS GOT MUCH MORE NOTICE THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD. so I thought you deserved another chapter (; please please please comment what you think, I love to hear from you guys. enjoy <33

After about a two minute walk, Luke and Ashton finally entered the math room. It was fairly small and only had ten desks set five by two, and the pair picked the seats on the left in the back row. 

“So are there any other people in your grade also in this class?” Ashton asked as he sat down.

Luke nodded. “Yeah, I think there’s five juniors and five seniors.”

“Who’s who?”

“Well I think the people in your grade are Lucy, she’s a tall blonde, Maeve, red head, Jack, freakishly tall, Charlie, blonde, and, well, you,” Luke told Ashton as people started to walk in.

“What about your grade?”

“Uh there’s me, duh, there’s Michael, dyes his hair a different color basically every day, Lisa, biggest slut in school so you’ll be able to find her quickly, Avery, really quiet, and then, much to my disappointment…there’s Calum.”

Ashton’s eyes bugged out of his head. “Did you say Calum?”

“Yeah, makes me hate him even more to be honest. He’s literally got everything.”

“So, he’s like, smart?” Ashton questioned, still not believing what Luke was telling him.

All Luke did was nod because the teacher had finally arrived, being followed by a boy with pink hair and none other than Calum. They took the only seats that were to the left, which so happened to be right next to where Ashton and Luke sat. The boy who Ashton thought was Michael sat next to him while Calum sat next to Michael.

“Hello class,” the teacher spoke. “I’m Ms. Cindy.”

Ms. Cindy received a couple of mumbled hello’s, but otherwise the room remained silent.

“Anyways,” she continued. “I am going to call attendance and then give you your assigned seats, which will most likely stay the same throughout the year.”

This received multiple groans, but Ms. Cindy ignored it and began attendance. Ashton was at the end of the list, so he was the last one to call ‘here’, and after he had, Ms. Cindy started searching through her pile of papers that Ashton assumed was the assigned seats.

“Okay so front row left to right will be,” Ms. Cindy started to say after she had found what she was looking for. “Luke, Michael, Lisa, Jack, and Avery.”

“Back row from left to right will be,” the teacher said after a pause. “Charlie, Maeve, Lucy, Calum, and Ashton.”

Everyone started getting out of their seats as the last names were called; well, everyone but Ashton who felt like he was glued to his seat. Luke seemed to notice his hesitation and gave him a pat on the back.

“Just ignore him if he does anything,” Luke told Ashton, and Ashton just nodded, happy that Luke understood how he felt about the whole situation.

Eventually Ashton had got up from his seat and made the slow process of sitting next to Calum. 

When Ashton finally sat in his seat (which happened to be one of those annoyingly small ones), something in the corner of his eye caught attention. Curiosity taking over, Ashton looked to his left where he thought he had seen something.

Much to his surprise, that ‘something’ happened to be an outstretched hand that belonged to Calum Hood.

Ashton just stared at his hand and then Calum’s eyes.

“Hi, I’m Calum,” the boy with black hair said, dropping his hand as he realized Ashton wasn’t going to shake it. “Are you new here?”

“I’m Ashton, and um, yeah, I’m new,” Ashton stuttered in response.

“That’s a nice name,” Calum commented, giving Ashton a toothy smile.

“Thanks,” Ashton mumbled, deciding to stare ahead at the board so he could avoid Calum’s smile, which, much to his discomfort, made his stomach feel like a stampede of elephants.

To Ashton’s luck, Ms. Cindy started to dive into the introduction of what the class would be studying in math for the semester, saving him from any other awkward encounters with Calum.

About fifteen minutes into class, Ashton felt something light hit his shoulder, causing him to look around. His eyes met Calum’s, and Calum nodded his head to the ground, so Ashton followed his gaze and saw a small piece of balled up paper.

Picking it up carefully and eyeing Calum, Ashton slowly opened the ball.

‘why’d you change schools if you’re in your senior year?’

Ashton looked at Calum after reading the note in hopes that he would still be looking at him so he could give him a death glare for making him lose focus, but his attention was now on the teacher.

Remembering what Luke hold told him earlier, Ashton decided to just ignore Calum. So he made the small piece of paper back into a ball and swiftly threw it into the recycling bin by the door. 

Not even two minutes later, Ashton yet again felt something hit his shoulder.

Ignore him, Ashton thought to himself, repeating the thought over and over again in his head.

“You know I can always just talk to you in person, right? I just thought you’d prefer the notes so you would have less of a chance to get in trouble,” Calum whispered, leaning in slightly so Ashton could hear him better. 

“Leave me alone, Calum. I’m trying to learn,” Ashton whispered back.

“I’ll leave you alone if you answer my question.”

Ashton squinted his eyes in annoyance and looked at Calum. “It’s none of your business.”

“Maybe, but that doesn’t mean you can’t tell me,” Calum shot back in a way like he was purposefully trying to play Ashton.

“Why do you want to know, anyway?”

“I like to know things.”

“Well news flash, you don’t need to know everything.”

Calum let out a breathy laugh. “Dude, I’m Calum Hood. I most definitely need to know everything.”

Ashton scoffed; was he being serious? 

“Well not this.”

“I don’t get why it’s such a big d-”

“Calum,” Ashton interrupted.

“Yes?”

Ashton looked straight into Calum’s eyes and gave him the fakest smile he could make. “Fuck off.”

Much to Ashton’s horror and surprise, Calum laughed. “Fine, but I have one more thing to say.”

“What?” Ashton replied through clenched teeth.

“I like them sassy.”

-X-

“So, basically, Calum Hood, as in the Calum Hood flirted with you?” Luke asked after Ashton had finished explaining the events he missed during math class.

“I mean I guess,” Ashton said. “I just don’t understand why he’s flirting with me because, well, I’m me, and no one knows me at this school, so how would he have figured out I was gay?”

“You’re gay?”

Ashton nodded. 

“Cool,” Luke replied like it wasn’t a big deal, because, well, it wasn’t. “I mean he has his ways and he basically knows everything.”

“Yeah, so I’ve been told,” Ashton comments, rolling his eyes. 

“Just keep trying to ignore him, and he’ll probably stop. He usually gets pissed when he doesn’t get what he wants, so hopefully that means he’ll just lose interest. Plus, you shouldn’t have any other classes with him, except maybe arts,” Luke explained, leaning on the locker next to Ashton’s as Ashton fiddled with the lock to his own. 

“Do you by any chance know what art he’s taking?” Ashton asked, letting out a groan as he looked for the paper with his code because he had already forgotten it.

Luke shrugged. “Maybe music? I heard he’s good at that kind of stuff, no surprise there. I might be w-”

Ashton cut Luke off by hitting his head on his still closed locker. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“What?”

“I’m taking music.” 

“Oh, shit,” Luke mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. “Just don’t sit next to him.”

“What if there’s assigned seats?”

“Ask to move.”

“Maybe,” Ashton replied, finally getting his locker open and finding the books he needed for his next class, which of course, was music. “I just don’t want to seem like a bother.”

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about, Ash. Usually the art teachers are really laid back, so you’ll probably be able to sit where you want. And if that’s the case, just sit as far away as possible from him, and if he tries to bother you, tell the teacher.”

“I’m not going to taddle tail Luke, I’m 18.” 

“Well it’s better than sitting next to Calum.”

Ashton nodded and closed his locker, because he knew Luke was right. Plus, in a way, anything would be better than spending another 70 minute class next to Calum Hood.

“Hey I got to get to my next class; it’s on the other side of the building. Tell me what happens, yeah?” Luke asked, walking backwards down the hall.

“Yeah,” Ashton replied, walking in the opposite direction to where he hoped the music room was.

Luke had showed him the art wing of the building on their way to math, so that’s where Ashton was headed in hopes the music room would be easy to find from there.

Luckily the room was only the second on the right after entering the art wing, so Ashton had no trouble finding it. He was early to class, so he found a spot near the middle and took his phone out of his backpack pocket to fiddle with. Ashton didn’t have anyone to text except his mum, so he ended up playing a game to pass time instead.

As Ashton was about to get his high score in the annoying yet addicting game ‘Flappy Bird’, he was rudely interrupted by a voice that caused his high score dreams to be crushed.

“Ashton Iriwin,” the voice called, and because of the cockiness laced in between the words, Ashton immediately knew who was speaking to him. 

“Go away, Calum.”

“Aw don’t be so rude, I was just saying hi!” Calum said; his voice was too happy for Ashton’s liking as Calum took the seat next to him.

“Why are you sitting next to me?”

“Because I wanted to talk to you, silly.”

“Well you’re out of luck, because I’m not planning on talking to you.”

“You are right now.”

Ashton huffed. “Leave me alone.”

“Now where would be the fun in that?” Calum asked, trying to poke Ashton’s cheek but only causing the older boy to swat his hand away. 

“Honestly, what’s your problem?” 

“I have no problem, Ashton. I think you’re the one with the problem,” Calum said matter of factly. 

“I don’t have a problem I just want you to leave me alone.”

“Why would I leave you alone when I finally found out the answer to my question, though?”

Ashton turned to face Calum with crossed arms. “What question?”

“I found out why you left your old school.”

Not knowing how to respond, Ashton just awkwardly stared at Calum with a look of confusion and anger. Why was this boy so interested with his life?

“Bullies, right?” Calum continued. 

“Where the fuck did you hear that from?” Ashton asked, ignoring Calum’s question.

“I have my ways.”

Ashton shook his head in frustration and focused his attention to the front of the class, praying that it would start soon.

“That’s okay, you don’t have to answer. Your silence has told me enough,” Calum said with a wink.

“I’ve said this to you before, and I’m going to say it again because obviously you weren’t listening last time; fuck off,” Ashton told Calum, his face turning a slight pink from anger. 

Much to Ashton’s surprise, Calum stopped talking, causing Ashton to feel accomplished. Well, until that was ruined, because twenty minutes into class, Calum spoke again. 

"You know what else I like?" Calum asked, and Ashton knew he was referring to what they had talked about earlier in math class.

 

Ashton was still immensely annoyed, but for some reason he found himself answering. His tone was harsh, because he thought if he sounded intimidating, maybe, just maybe, Calum would finally shut up. "What, Calum?"

 

Calum looked at Ashton with what seemed to be an evil grin, but shortly after the two made eye contact, Calum focused his gaze back to the teacher in the front of the room, the same look still on his face as he spoke in a voice so quiet that only Ashton could hear.

"A challenge."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started school today ew )): if you started school or start soon, i hope you have an amazing day!! please comment and enjoy <3

“So the first footy match of the season is this Friday,” Luke told Ashton as they sat down at an empty lunch table. “It’s tradition that the whole school goes to the first game, especially seniors.”

“What if I don’t want to go?” Ashton asked, pulling out a sandwich from his brown paper lunch bag. 

Luke shrugged. “Then you don’t have to go. It’s usually a lot of fun though, so it’d be worth it.”

“Why would I want to go see a bunch of assholes do something as pointless as kick a ball around?”

“Don’t think of it like that. Think of it as free food and entertainment. I mean, hey, there’s plenty of cute guys on the team…I think.”

“You think?”

“I mean I’m not into that whole scene, but if I was, hot damn.”

Ashton chuckled. “I’ll think about it. Are you going?”

Luke nodded his head. “Yeah, I’ve been before and it’s a lot of fun. So I mean if you went you wouldn’t be alone, cause I’d also be there. We don’t even have to watch for the sake of the sport, we can just point and laugh at the players when they fall, which happens a lot.”

“I thought you said they were good?”

“I said Calum was good, I never said the others were. His friend Michael’s pretty good too, and they’re basically the reason the team wasn’t a complete failure last season.”

Chewing on his sandwich, Ashton contemplated his options. He could stay home on a Friday night watching terrible soap operas with his mum, or he could spend the night eating free food and staring at cute boys. Plus, Luke would be there, and he’d grown quite fond of the younger boy. Overall, the second option seemed to be the way to go.

“Fine,” Ashton said. “I’ll go.”

Luke threw his hands up in victory earning an annoyed look from Ashton, so he quickly composed himself and went back to eating his apple.

“How was music class by the way?” Luke asked.

“Oh god,” Ashton groaned. “Don’t even get me started.”

“That bad?”

“Calum was being his usual asshole self and for some unknown reason found out that I was bullied at my old school and was asking about it. I told him it was none of his business and he kept pushing for more, so again I told him to fuck off. Then do you know what he said?” Ashton exclaimed.

Luke shook his head.

“He said, and I quote, ‘I like a challenge’.”

Luke almost choked on his apple. “He said what?”

“You heard me.”

“Oh my god,” Luke said between coughs. “I just don’t get why he’s doing this. I mean, yeah, he’s a prick, but like I said before he usually moves on to the next person if someone shoots him down, which isn’t often.”

Ashton shrugged. “I still don’t get why it had to be me.”

Luke thought for a minute before replying. “It’s obvious, isn’t it?” 

“What do you mean?”

Luke smirked. “You’re a challenge.”

-X-

Ashton woke up the following morning immediately dreading the day. He honestly didn’t know what to expect, and that was kind of nerve wrecking. 

After a few minutes of giving himself a pep talk, Ashton finally got out of bed and took a shower. Once he had finished brushing his teeth and somewhat containing his hair, Ashton re-entered his room with a towel secured around his waist.

Not really caring about what he was wearing, Ashton threw on his usual pair of black skinny jeans and a Captain America muscle tee. His hair continued to be annoying, so he pushed it out of his face by using a black bandana. 

After Ashton had finished getting ready, he checked the clock and realized he was running late, so he hurriedly ran downstairs. 

Once downstairs, Ashton quickly kissed his mum goodbye, grabbed a granola bar and his keys, and then left the house. 

Since it was his second day, his mum had let him drive himself to school. Ashton’s car was nothing special, but he still preferred it to his mum’s minivan.

Ashton arrived to school with 15 minutes to get to class, so he hurriedly found a parking spot and practically ran to the building. 

Ashton got to his locker and pulled out his necessary books in record time before finally getting to class.

He entered the classroom just as Ms. Cindy was about to close the door, so he muttered a quiet sorry before taking his seat next to Calum.

Ms. Cindy quickly started writing math equations and notes on the board, so Ashton ruffled through his backpack to find a notebook and pencil. Once he had found what he was looking for, Ashton started to copy down the notes onto a blank page.

Ashton found himself getting lost in the lesson as Ms. Cindy dug further into the topic, so he was startled when someone besides the teacher’s voice spoke.

“You coming to the game Friday?”

Ashton squeezed his eyes shut in annoyance, letting out a small groan. “Why do you care?”

“Because I happen to be on the team, and I like to be aware when someone attractive watches so I know not to mess up, even though that never happens,” Calum replied cockily.

“I’m trying to take notes.”

“And I’m trying to ask you a question.”

Ashton sighed deeply. “Yes, I’m coming.”

“Great,” Calum said, a smile evident in his voice. “I’ll look for you.”

“Please don’t,” Ashton grumbled, attempting to take notes again.

“Why not?”

“Because.”

“That’s not a very good reason, Ash.”

“Don’t call me Ash, we’re not friends.”

“Okay, Ash.”

Ashton slammed his head on the table in frustration. “Let’s just get this clear, I’m not coming to watch you; I’m coming to watch the team.”

“There would be no team if it wasn’t for me, so it would make sense if I was the reason you came.”

“Well I’m not.”

“Not what?”

“Coming for you.”

“I mean, I have no doubt you will eventually,” Calum smirked, winking at Ashton.

Ashton felt his cheeks heat. “Oh my god, you did not just say that.”

“That, I did.”

-X-

Ashton waited for math class to end feeling mortified and determined to find Luke. He was already planning on getting out of the classroom as speedily as possible, and looking for Luke would be a good excuse to do so. 

As soon as the bell rung, Ashton sprinted out of the classroom and grabbed Luke by the arm, making him walk in the direction of Ashton’s locker.

“How much trouble would I get in if I skipped a class?”

“Why do you want to skip a class?” Luke asked, slightly tripping over his feet as Ashton was making him walk quickly. 

“I don’t think I can handle any more time in the presence of Calum Hood.”

“What’d he do now?”

“You don’t even want to know,” Ashton replied as they reached his locker. 

“Was it really that bad?”

Ashton nodded his head as he opened the red door. “Maybe even worse.”

“Ugh,” Luke groaned, trying to think of a way to help his new friend. “Hey, I know a way for you to not have to talk to him.”

“What?”

“You can pretend you’re busy by texting someone.”

“The only person I text is my mum, Luke.”

“Then text me,” Luke replied, already pulling out his phone from his jean pocket. 

Ashton took the object from Luke as he pushed it in his direction.

“Put your number in and then send yourself a text so you have mine,” Luke explained. “That way you can text me if Calum tries talking to you again and just tell him you’re busy.”

“Do you really think that’s going to work? What if the teacher catches me?”

“I mean it’s worth a shot, and you have music, right?” Luke asked and Ashton nodded his head to confirm. “Then just remember what I said, art teachers are usually really laid back.”

Ashton looked from his books to Luke, a small smile tugging on his lips. “Thanks.”

“No problem, anything to help a friend out.”

-X-

So far Luke’s plan was working. So far, until, of course, it didn’t.

“I know what you’re doing.”

“I’m not doing anything, Calum. I am simply texting a friend.”

“You’re pretending you’re busy in hopes that that will make me leave you alone.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I think you do.”

Ashton shrugged and continued to text Luke.

“Who are you texting anyways?” Calum asked. 

“I told you, a friend.”

“You have friends?” 

“That’s a little harsh,” Ashton said. 

“It’s a valid question.”

“You just keep getting sweeter and sweeter, don’t you?” Ashton mumbled.

Calum stayed quiet for a few minutes before speaking again. “I’m sorry.”

“Sure you are,” Ashton snorted. 

“No, really, I am,” Calum said. “I don’t mean to do the same thing the people at your old school did.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t mean to bully you…it kind of just came out.”

“Whatever, Calum.”

Calum let out a sigh. “I’m sorry, I can’t control what I say when I’m nervous.”

“Why are you nervous?” Ashton asked, finally putting his phone away because for some reason he wanted to give Calum his full attention.

Calum rolled his eyes. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“Apparently not.”

“Then only time will tell, my friend.”

“What do you mean?”

“If you just wait a little, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

Ashton shook his head. “This makes no sense, I don’t get why you can’t just tell me.”

“I’ll give you a hint,” Calum smiled, gathering his books and standing up as the bell signaled the end of class.

“Okay…”

“You should really wear more tank tops because your arms look hot as fuck,” Calum smirked. “And holy shit, the whole bandana and messy hair look? You’re killing me man.”

Ashton couldn’t help the blush rising from his neck to his cheeks as he turned as red as a tomato, only causing Calum to laugh.

“In other words,” Calum continued. “I’m having a really hard time controlling myself.”

With that, Calum left the room, leaving Ashton to stand by himself, his mouth open in disbelief. 

Ashton wasn’t sure about a lot of things, but he was sure about this.

The boy with the black hair and killer jawline was going to be the death of him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so updates won't be as frequent because school's started ): but if you guys comment a lot i'll update quicker!! enjoy <3

The week flew by, the days filled with endless learning, stress and flirt attempts from Calum. 

It was finally Friday, though, which meant one thing; game day.

Ashton woke up that morning dreading the day again. He wasn’t really into hearing the footy players cockily talking about how good they’re going to play, and he most definitely wasn’t looking forward to tonight, when the actual game was going to happen. But he told Luke he would go with him, so it’s not like he could just back out. Well, he could, but he didn’t want to be mean.

Ever since Calum told Ashton how much he liked him in a bandana and tank top, Ashton had been wearing anything but. There was a problem though, because Ashton didn’t own a lot of clothes, which meant the only option of shirts he had left to wear were tank tops.

Because of this, Ashton arrived at school with his normal black skinny jeans, black vans, a maroon beanie, and a black ‘Weekend Warrior’ tank top.

As Ashton walked down the crowded hallway, he noticed that all the footy players were dressed in their jerseys with girls crawling all over them. He spotted Lisa from his math class wearing close to nothing whispering into a boy with brown hairs ear, and he couldn’t help but shudder; how did something think that was ‘attractive’?

Not that he was surprised, but Ashton also saw that Calum was among the players and girls, arm slung loosely around one with black hairs shoulders, talking to a teammate. 

Although Ashton would most likely deny it, he couldn’t help but stare in awe at Calum.

Let’s just say Calum looked good in his jersey. Like, really fucking good. 

He didn’t realize until a few moments later, but Ashton might’ve been staring at Calum for a little too long because instead of looking where he was going, he was still looking at Calum which only ended up with him being on the floor.

Blinking in confusion, Ashton looked around and saw that his books had spilled across the ground and a boy with pink hair was standing before him. 

“I’m so sorry,” the boy, who Ashton remembered was named Michael, said. “I wasn’t paying any attention to where I was going.”

Ashton shook his head to wake up from his daze, mumbling a ‘it’s fine’ while collecting his books. Once all his books were collected, he got ready to stand, but was stopped by a hand being held in his direction. Ashton looked up to see who the hand belonged to, and of course, it happened to belong to Calum Hood.

Not a hundred percent sure how Calum had gotten here so quickly or how he even knew Ashton had fallen, for some reason Ashton found himself taking Calum’s hand into his own, allowing himself to be swiftly pulled up.

A few seconds passed until Ashton realized he had been holding Calums hand for a little too long, but just as he was about to pull his hand away from Calum’s grasp and leave with what little dignity he had left, Calum pulled Ashton so close to his body that his lips were on Ashton’s ear. 

“I really like what you’re wearing today,” Calum whispered. “And I just thought I’d let you know, I saw you staring.”

Once the words left his mouth and he was sure Ashton had heard, Calum pulled back with a smirk, and simply walked away leaving Ashton to stand frozen in his spot.

Was he breathing? Because he didn’t think he was.

-X-

Ashton did not want to go to math class, and he definitely did not want to spend it sitting next to Calum. He was worried that because of his staring, he would embarrass himself if Calum tried teasing him or something, which would most likely happen.

He knew he had to though, and that’s why he was currently sitting next to the boy he really didn’t want to.

“It’s not nice to stare, you know,” Calum finally said about half way through class.

“I’m not staring,” Ashton mumbled.

“You were earlier.”

Ashton refused to blush. He refused to.

“That’s why you ran into Michael. I saw it.”

“I thought I knew the girl you were with, so I was getting a better look to see if it was her,” Ashton said, quickly coming up with the lie.

“Bull.”

Ashton shrugged in response.

“Whatever, I saw you staring and that’s all that matters.”  
“Let’s say I was staring, which I wasn’t, why would it matter so much?” Ashton asked.

“People only stare if they like what they see.”

“Which proves I wasn’t staring.”

“Actually,” Calum said, placing a hand on Ashton’s shoulder. “It proves you were.”

Ashton shrugged Calum’s hand off with disgust. “I wasn’t staring. End of conversation. Just drop it.”

“You’re being quite defensive, Ashton Irwin, which just makes me know you’re lying.”

Ashton scowled at Calum who was smiling smugly to himself. Boy, did he get under his skin.

Ashton had an idea though, one he really hoped would work. As the teachers gaze fell on him and Calum, Ashton shot his hand in the air.

“Yes, Ashton?”

“May I please go to the bathroom?” Ashton asked.

The teacher nodded, signaling that Ashton was free to go, so Ashton quickly got out of his seat and walked out of the classroom. He knew he probably seemed weird, but he needed to get away from Calum, even if it was only for a little. If he had stayed longer, he was sure he would’ve ripped the younger boys head off. 

Entering the bathroom, Ashton quickly went into the largest stall, sitting on the floor in the corner and putting his head in his hands. He didn’t know why Calum had this effect on him, but something about him just drove Ashton crazy. 

As Ashton was debating which method would work best in killing Calum without getting caught, the bathroom door opened and someone walked in. Ashton just ignored it, because there was no reason for it to matter to him. That is, until the person knocked on the door to his stall. 

This didn’t really make sense to Ashton because all the other stalls were open for use, yet the stranger decided he wanted to use this one. Maybe he just wanted the larger stall.

“I’ll be out in a minute,” Ashton decided to say, earning a grunt from the other guy. 

Collecting himself the best he could, Ashton got up from his spot on the floor and walked to the door to unlock it. 

“Sorry,” Ashton said as he opened the door, eyes on the ground. 

“It’s okay,” the voice replied, causing Ashton’s head to snap up.

Calum.

“What the hell are you doing in here?”

Calum smiled. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“You’re insane,” Ashton scoffed. “Like, to the point it’s creepy.”

“What’s so creepy about me checking up on you?”

“Why would you want to check up on me? We’re not even friends.”

“Not yet.”

Ashton pushed past Calum, trying to bump Calum’s shoulder with his own but instead hit his bicep, only causing him to try so hard not to do something stupid because oh my god his bicep was huge. 

Ashton was about to reach the door until Calum spoke. “Where are you going?”

“Class, where else?”

Calum didn’t respond with talking, but instead quickly grabbed Ashton’s forearm, causing him to spin around and come dangerously close to his chest. 

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Calum said, trying to keep his breathing normal with how close Ashton was to him.

No one spoke for a little; Ashton kept trying to look anywhere but Calum’s eyes (which was really hard, thank you very much) and Calum couldn’t stop looking at Ashton’s lips that were so pink and plump and perfect and there. 

“We should really get back to class,” Ashton managed to squeak out. 

Calum nodded in agreement, yet neither boy made any intention of moving.

Calum wanted to kiss Ashton. He really, really wanted to kiss Ashton. But he knew he couldn’t, not yet at least. That would push him even further back with getting with him, and he couldn’t bear to think like that. 

So instead, Calum leaned into Ashton so that his lips brushed his ear, causing Ashton to shudder and Calum’s ego to boost. 

“Damn,” Calum whispered. “The things I could do to you.”

As much as he tried not to, Ashton couldn’t help but shudder again, Calum’s words causing something to surge through his body, something like electricity. 

Calum spoke again, “And I know you want that. That you’d love that.”

Ashton was frozen. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe. 

“Just give me the word, babe,” Calum murmured, kissing the spot under Ashton’s ear.

When Calum’s lips met with Ashton’s neck, it felt like a spark had hit him and his body was on fire. Ashton couldn’t think straight, almost like he was in a state of shock. But he did notice Calum’s hand on his waist, slowly going down. 

This snapped Ashton out of his daze, causing him to push Calum away from his body. Calum stumbled backwards, but Ashton didn’t care, he needed to get away. 

“Leave me alone, Calum,” Ashton seethed, leaving the bathroom and heading back to class. 

Why had he let Calum do that? Why had he allowed Calum to talk to him like that? Why hadn’t he pushed Calum away as soon as he pulled their bodies together?

The answer was obvious really.

Ashton had liked everything about it. He liked being close to Calum. He liked how Calum talked. He liked Calum touching him.

He would never admit it of course, and he would never tell anyone about this. 

Ashton entered the classroom as the bell signaling the end of class went off, causing him to sigh in relief. There was no way he could go through class sitting next to Calum after what just happened.

So he quickly grabbed his books from his desk and left the room, coincidently bumping into Calum on his way out who had just returned.

And Ashton would never, ever let anyone know that as their bodies touched, his stomach flipped and his palms got sweaty. Ever.

-X-

Ashton had never not wanted to be somewhere so badly in his life than now. He did not want to sit in a class for seventy minutes, and he did not want to spend it with Calum, but he had to or he wouldn’t hear the end of it from his mum.

He tried his hardest to stay away from Calum, getting up and changing seats whenever he tried sitting next to him. Eventually there was no more seats left, so he was forced to sit with Calum. Notice the forced.

The worst part of all this was Calum would not stop trying to talk to Ashton, and he was trying harder than normal. Like, to the point Ashton had no choice but to respond or Calum wouldn’t have shut up and the teacher would hear and they both would end up getting in trouble.

“What?” Ashton spat.

“What’s your problem?”

“Are you seriously asking that?”

“Yes.”

Ashton laughed a humorless laugh; was Calum being serious? “Go away.”

“I can’t go anywhere, I’m in class.”

“You’re honestly the most agitating person ever.”

“I’ll make you a deal.”

“No.”

“I think you might like it.”

“No.”

“Just hear me out.”

“No.”

Calum decided to tell Ashton his deal anyway. “I’ll leave you alone if you admit something for me.”

“I’m not admitting anything to you.”

“Don’t be such a wuss.” 

Ashton stayed quiet, so Calum decided to play a game.

“Ashton.”

“Ashton.”

“Ashton.”

“Ashton.”

“Ashton.”

“Ash-”

“What the fuck do you want?” Ashton grumbled, pausing between words. 

“All you have to do is admit one thing, and then I’ll stop bugging you.”

“What do you want me to admit?” Ashton said, finally giving in, the thought of silence from Calum was too inviting.

“That you liked it.”

“Liked what?”

“What happened in the bathroom.”

Ashton’s mouth dropped and his cheeks turned pink. He couldn’t form words for some reason, so he decided saying nothing was better than saying something stupid.

Of course, this was the wrong idea, because it caused Calum to smile.

“Ah, I’ve told you so many times, you’re silence always proves I’m right.”

Ashton mumbled something along the lines of ‘fuck you’, but it was slightly hard to hear. 

Calum just laughed in response; it’s like they always say, silence is golden.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this starts off really slow but i promise it gets better. there's also a little muke (; COMMENT AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK <3 okay bye enjoy

Ashton left school for the day after lunch because the only classes he had left were frees, and being a senior, he was able to leave early.

Which made Ashton very happy, because it guaranteed no more encounters with Calum.

When Ashton arrived home, his mum wasn’t there. Ashton assumed it’s because she was still at work, so he didn’t worry too much. His siblings were still at school, leaving him with an empty house.

He decided to get some homework done after making a sandwich, so that’s exactly what he did.

-X-

Two hours later Ashton finished everything. His mum, brother, and sister returned from school about an hour ago. When Ashton checked the time, it was 4:30. The soccer game was at 6 and Ashton had told Luke he would pick him up at 5:15, so Ashton decided to get ready.

He took a quick shower before getting dressed. 

Luke had told Ashton to look somewhat presentable for tonight, so Ashton had chosen to wear his tight gray Nirvana tee, black skinny jeans with a rip on his left knee, all black converse, and a black bandanna.

Ashton thought his attire was presentable, so he decided to leave and get Luke. 

-X-

Ashton arrived at Luke’s at promptly 5:15. He didn’t feel like getting out of his car, so he texted Luke that he was in front of his house. Shortly after, Luke jogged over to where Ashton was parked (almost falling over because his legs were just so long that sometimes he forgot to walk – but that’s beside the point), entering the car with a ‘hey’.

“Did you really just almost fall over your own feet?” Ashton asked as he started driving in the direction of the school.

“Shut up,” Luke replied. “You wouldn’t understand. You’re little.”

Ashton scoffed. “I am not little.”

Luke rolled his eyes and turned on the radio.

-X-

When Ashton and Luke arrived to school, it was 5:47. To say the least, it was crowded. It took Ashton a good 10 minutes to find a parking spot because practically everyone was already taken. People piled in the parking lot, bleachers, and in lines by the food carts. 

To their surprise and luck, the pair found seats on the bleachers in the first row near the middle. In other words, they had a really good view. And when they say good view, Luke would be talking about the field and game. If you were to ask Ashton, he would say he had a great view of the rather attractive footy players.

It’s like people always say; there’s two kinds of people in the world.

“Hey there’s still like 5 minutes until the game, I’m gonna get us some food and drinks,” Luke told Ashton, standing up from his previous sitting position.

Ashton nodded in response and continued to stare (gawk) at the players.

“Ashton, I’ve told you this before. It’s really not nice to stare,” an all too familiar voice spoke.

Ashton rolled his eyes. “Go, away Calum.”

“Why are you always telling me to go away?” Calum asked, gracefully jumping a short height so that his body clutched the fence in front of the bleachers, becoming eye level with Ashton. Well as eye level as they could get considering Ashton was sitting and Calum was standing.

“Because I don’t enjoy your company, Calum.”

“I like when you say my name. You know what would sound better, though?”

“I really don’t care.”

“You screaming it.”

Ashton’s cheeks heated. “Don’t you have a game to play?”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t start for a little, and I saw you, so I thought I’d say hi.”

“Well you’ve done that already, so I think you can go.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Ashton said, giving Calum a confused look because he was still standing in front of him. “Bye?”

Calum looked back at Ashton as if he wanted something. "What, no good luck kiss?"

"I'm not going to kiss y-" but Ashton stopped mid-sentence because Calum leaned across the fence and had swiftly touched his lips to Ashton's cheek; it was quick and playful, but it was enough to turn Ashton an even darker shade of pink.

"That's okay, I'll just kiss you instead," Calum smirked, hopping off the fence and walking backwards before turning around and jogging to his team.

Ashton doesn't know why he did it, but he found himself shouting after Calum. "Hey, Calum!"

Calum spun around and gave Ashton a puzzled look.

Looking to his feet before he found Calum’s dark eyes, Ashton spoke again. "Good luck."

Ashton swears the smile that appeared on Calum's face was the biggest he'd ever seen. His team was calling him over, so all Calum did in response was continue showing his teeth and nodding.

Luke had returned then with popcorn and two drinks, somehow holding everything in his hands.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

Ashton looked at Luke as he sat down. "Like what?"

"A crazy person."

This only caused Ashton to smile bigger, most likely confusing Luke even more. "No reason."

But that's the thing; there was a reason, and that reason happened to be a person, and that person happened to be Calum Hood.

-X-

By halftime, Ashton had come to the assumption that Calum was a good footy player. Like, really good.

It was almost like he was a different person on the field. He moved with grace and speed, not being affected in any way as people tried to steal the ball (no one ever got it from him). The team was also winning 4-1 because of him, considering he scored 3 of the goals. And there’s always the small factor that he looked really fucking hot while playing. 

He hadn’t been subbed at all during the game, causing him to be sweaty (which for some reason really turned Ashton on), but it didn’t seem to affect him because he continued to play the game as if it had only begun. 

If anyone asked, Ashton would simply say he didn’t find the footy player attractive in any shape or form, which, of course, would be a lie.

Again, Calum looked hot. Really fucking hot.

“So what do you think so far?” Luke asked as the players ran to the side line, interrupting Ashton of his thoughts that were about one person and one person only.

“You were right,” Ashton responded. “The players are amazing.”

“I mean I said they weren’t that good, but I g-”

“I mean their faces are amazing, Luke. They’re all shitty except for Calum and Michael.”

Luke laughed. “I told you! But yeah, Calum and Michael are good.”

“Good? They’re bloody amazing!” Ashton exclaimed. 

“Who is?”

Ashton’s head snapped in the direction of the voice. “How do you not get in trouble for not participating with your team so much?”

“I’m the captain. I can kind of do what I want,” Calum shrugged. 

Ashton rolled his eyes.

“But who were you talking about?” Calum continued, a knowing smirk on his face. 

“Maybe you should go back to your team. The game’s starting soon.”

“Hey, Luke?” 

Luke’s eyes widened when he figured out Calum was talking to him. “Y-yeah?”

“Who was Ashton talking about?”

“I don’t see why it really m-”

“You,” Luke said, interrupting Ashton. “Well, you and Michael.”

Ashton buried his head in his hands, not believing that Luke just sold him out.

“Thought so,” Calum chuckled. “See you after the game, sweet cheeks.”

Ashton waited a couple of seconds. “Is he gone?”

“Yeah.”

“What the fuck, Luke!” Ashton angrily said, slightly shoving his friend.

“Look, I’m sorry! He’s just really intimidating.”

“He asked you a yes or no question, how the hell is that intimidating?”

Luke shrugged, letting a sigh of relief out as the ref whistled to show the game was starting again.

Ashton mumbled something along the lines of ‘I’m going to fucking kill you’ before returning his attention back to the game.

Well, before returning his attention back to the fit boys.

-X-

The game ended with their team winning, and the final score was 5-2 (Calum had gotten another goal).

“We’re coming to another one of these,” Ashton decided as him and Luke left the bleachers. 

“What, so you can stare at the players with heart eyes?”

“Shut up, asshole,” Ashton laughed, playfully pushing Luke. 

Turns out the shove wasn’t very playful though because Luke ended up colliding with someone else.

“What the fuck-” the boy with pink hair started to shout, but quickly stopped himself when he saw who had hit him. “Oh, hey Luke.”

“Uh, h-hey Michael,” Luke stuttered in response. “Sorry for bumping into you.”

“No problem, babe,” Michael said. “No problem at all.”

Michael’s eyes scanned up and down Luke’s long body. He licked his lips as they landed on his mouth, causing Luke to squirm and Michael to laugh. 

“I’ll see you around,” Michael said, winking at Luke before walking off with a group of what Ashton assumed were his friends. 

“Oh my god,” Ashton giggled once Michael was out of hearing range. “Did Michael just wink at you?”

Luke blushed as he refused to look at Ashton’s eyes. “No.”

“Oh my god!” Ashton repeated, still giggling. “He totally did!”

“Shut up, Ashton.”

“Michael Clifford just winked at you!” Ashton practically shouted, almost falling to the ground in a fit of laughter. “And checked you out!”

Ashton was about to continue teasing Luke, but he was abruptly pulled to the side and away from his friend by Calum. 

“Uh…hello.”

“Why were you talking to Michael?”

“What?”

“Why were you talking to Michael?”

Ashton was confused. “I wasn’t, Luke was. Why does it matter?”

“I don’t like you talking to him.”

“Okay I just told you I wasn’t, and what does it matter if you don’t like me talking to him?”

“I would just stay away from him.”

“What’s your problem?”

“What?”

“Do you honestly think you can tell me who to talk to and who I can’t?”

“I don’t see why not.”

Ashton looked at Calum as if he was crazy. “Okay, well, you can’t.”

“Fine,” Calum said. “I’ll just talk to Michael.”

“What?”

“I’ll just tell him to stay away from you.”

“And why the fuck would you do that?”

Calum shrugged. “I don’t like you talking to him.”

“Why not?”

“You wouldn’t get it, Ashton.”

“Try me.”

“This isn’t a game,” Calum said, starting to get irritated. “Just stay away from him or I’ll make him stay from you.”

“You’ve got a fucking problem. Don’t tell Michael anything and don’t assume I’m going to stop talking to him just because you told me to.”

“We’ll see,” is how Calum responded, before walking off.

Ashton didn’t understand what just happened. He didn’t understand at all. 

But Calum did, because he had a good reason for his actions. Well, he thought he did.

He wanted something, and he always got what he wanted. 

More specifically, he wanted Ashton.

Therefore he wasn’t going to let anyone or anything get in the way of that becoming a reality. 

He was determined.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yaaay an update ((: COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE <3 oh and i started to write a cake fanfic so you should check that out if you want (; okay enjoyy

Everyone hated Mondays, and they had good reason to.

Monday meant the end of the weekend and the start to a new week of school.

Ashton didn’t really mind Monday’s all that much to be honest, but he did mind this one.

He was running late because his alarm hadn’t gone off and his mum had left early for work, leaving him to wake up at roughly 9 o’clock. Because he was so late, Ashton didn’t have time to make himself look any form of decent; his hair was a mess and he couldn’t find his contacts anywhere.

This led to Ashton wearing his normal jeans and Vans, plus a hoodie to hide his hair and his glasses. Ashton hated his glasses with a burning passion, but if he wanted to make it in time for 2nd period, he had no choice. 

Eventually arriving at school in a record time of 15 minutes, Ashton was able to get to music class only 5 minutes late. 

The problem with this situation though meant Ashton would have to disrupt the class by him entering late, and he really wasn’t looking forward to that. He especially wasn’t thrilled of the idea because he hated having attention on him, and he looked like a mess, which didn’t help. It didn’t help at all.

As quietly as he could, Ashton entered the classroom with his head down, eliminating the possibility of making awkward eye contact with a classmate or teacher. He did look up to find a seat though, and of course, the only one left was the seat next to Calum.

Ashton swore that boy did these things on purpose. 

“Oh my god,” Calum said in disbelief as Ashton sat down.

Ashton rolled his eyes. “What now, Calum?”

“You’re wearing glasses.”

“Really? I had no idea.”

“Oh my god.”

“Look I’m really not in the mood for your rude ass co-”

“Oh my god,” Calum said yet again, cutting Ashton off. “Why are you wearing glasses?”

“Because I can’t see without them?”

“Do you do this on purpose?” Calum asked, his tone almost sounding upset.

“Uh…no. I was running late so I didn’t put my contacts it. Why are you making this such a big deal?”

“Because, Ashton, I have never seen you in glasses nor did I think you needed those so you coming into class late wearing them is just…wow.”

“What?”

“I never thought glasses were all that appealing, honestly,” Calum explained. “But damn, you look hot as fuck. Like, I might even be getting a boner.”

“Oh my god Calum. Shut up.”

“Like, obviously you’re really attractive and sexy as hell, but the glasses just bring you to a whole new level.”

“They’re just glasses. Calm the fuck down.”

“I’m as calm as I can be, Ashton,” Calum said, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. “But my dicks not.”

Ashton buried his face in his hands as his cheeks turned the same shade as a ripe tomato. “Please stop talking. Oh god, please just stop talking.”

-X-

“You gave him a boner?”

“I don’t know, Luke! It’s not like I checked!” Ashton exclaimed. 

“But he implied that you had?”

“Yes, and even though I asked him to stop talking, he wouldn’t listen. Oh my god, he even told me it has a name.”

Luke giggled. “He named his dick?”

“It’s not funny, Luke. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to last a whole school year with him; a little over a week has been hard enough.”

“You could switch classes?”

Ashton shook his head. “Too much work.”

“What if you-”

“Hello,” a voice spoke, interrupting Luke. 

“Hi, Luke,” another voice chirped, being followed by the sound of two people sitting at the lunch table along with the dropping of bags.

Ashton turned his attention away from Luke to see what all the commotion was about, and once he had, he was really surprised that he didn’t scream.

“Watcha talking about?” Calum asked, taking a bite from his sandwich.

“What are you doing here?” Ashton questioned through gritted teeth.

“Hi, Luke,” the other voice repeated, one that belonged to Michael who’s hair was now a vibrant blue.

Luke mumbled a quiet ‘hi’ before Ashton continued speaking. “Why are you sitting here?”

“Why not?”

“Because we’re not friends…”

“Who says?”

“Me.”

“Don’t I get a say in things?”

“No.”

“I think I do.”

Ashton groaned, lowering his head so it hit the table.

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

Calum shrugged and took another bite of his sandwhich.

“Hi, I’m Michael,” the boy with blue hair spoke.

“Ya, I know. We have math together,” Ashton explained, still slightly irritated by Calum’s presence.

“We do?”

“Yes you dumb fuck,” Calum groaned, bumping his friends shoulder with his own. “You’re just too busy admiring a certain someone to take notice.”

Suddenly Luke started choking on his food, causing him to go into a coughing fit. Ashton smacked his back in a form to help him, slightly confused at why Luke suddenly started to choke.

“I have to go,” Luke mumbled after his attack had settled. “I’ll talk to you later Ash.”

With that, Luke got up from the table and practically powerwalked away, leaving Ashton alone with two people who he did not enjoy. At all.

“That was weird,” Ashton said, mostly to himself.

“How so?”

“He just randomly started choking, I don’t know about you but I find that bit odd.”

“Randomly?”

“What are you getting at, Calum?” Ashton grumbled, peeling a banana. 

“I’m just saying it wasn’t random.”

Ashton gave Calum a questioning look.

“Do you honestly not know?”

“Know what?”

“Dude,” Calum chuckled. “It’s pretty obvious.”

Michael quickly muttered a “don’t” at the same time Ashton said “what is?”.

Calum laughed again. “Michael wants to fuck Luke.”

This time it was Ashton’s turn to choke, the words that came out of Calum’s mouth being the cause of it.

“I hate you,” Michael grumbled, picking up his lunch supplies and leaving the table as well.

Once Ashton had properly composed himself, he spoke again. “He wants to what?”

“Fuck him.”

“Calum,” Ashton practically hissed. “You don’t have to be so blunt.”

“I mean you asked.”

“I’m leaving,” Ashton replied, crumbling his brown lunch bag in a ball before standing up.

As Ashton was turning around to walk away, Calum spoke again.  
“I mean I don’t know why, though,” Calum explained, causing Ashton to stop in his tracks for some odd reason. “You’d be much better.”

So Ashton left.

-X-

“Since when has Michael Clifford wanted to have sex with you?” Ashton asked his friend as they walked out of the school building.

“Since forever,” Luke blushed. “I have no idea why, but he’s always liked me.”

“Do you like him?”

“No!” Luke spluttered, almost too quickly. “No, I’m straight.”

Ashton gave Luke a weird look. “Okay…”

“Can we please not talk about it?”

“Ya, ya sorry,” Ashton said, getting into the car and Luke doing the same.

The pair drove in an awkward silence until reaching Luke’s home, where Ashton had the urge to push Luke a little more. 

“Hey, Luke?” he asked as the blonde got of the car.

“Yeah?”

“Are you sure you don’t like him?”

Luke paused before responding. “Bye Ashton.” 

And with that, he turned on his heel and walked up the pathway to his house, leaving Ashton very, very confused.

-X-

It was Tuesday when Ashton got an idea; one that he wasn’t sure how he hadn’t thought of before.

Yeah, maybe his plan was a little childish, but he was desperate.

So, he was going to ignore Calum. He basically was just going to pretend he wasn’t there.

He really, really hoped it worked. 

Ashton walked into math class with his head down, quickly and quietly getting to his seat.

Class started without any interruptions, and Ashton hoped it would stay that way, until, of course, Calum spoke.

“Are you wearing your glasses again because I told you I liked them?”

Yes, Ashton was wearing his glasses again, but only because his contacts had fallen down the sink. 

Ashton stayed silent and wrote down some notes. 

“Ashton?”

Silence.

“Hello?”

Silence.

“Are you really ignoring me?”

Ashton attempted to look as if he was focusing really hard on the board so that a giggle wouldn’t escape.

“Please don’t ignore me.”

“Ashton.”

“Ashton.”

“Ashton,” Calum said, his voice rising slightly in what Ashton thought was irritation.

“Calum,” Ms. Cindy interrupted, glaring at her student. “Please be quiet.”

Ashton could feel Calum’s gaze on him, but again, he ignored it.

“This isn’t over,” Calum whispered before attempting to turn his attention to the notebook in front of him.

-X-

To Ashton’s surprise, he made it through math class without any more interruptions from Calum, so when he arrived to music, he assumed the same would happen. But, of course, he was wrong. 

“I’ve realized something,” Calum said. “It’s okay if you don’t talk to me, I can just talk to you.”

Ashton ignored Calum; he had to stick to his plan considering it worked last time.

“You know what I’ve been thinking about lately?” Calum continued. “Sex. Isn’t sex great? I love sex. You know what would make sex even more fun, though? If it was with you.”

Ashton’s eyes almost fell out of their sockets, but again, he remained silent.

“Like, I know you’re a virgin and all, which is totally cool, because it would almost make it more fun. I could teach you all kinds of things. I mean, oh my god, have you seen your hands? I don’t doubt you’d give the world’s best hand jobs. And your mouth? Wow, I can’t wait to have those pretty pink lips wrapped around my-”

“I swear to god if you don’t shut the fuck up I will rip your fucking head off and shove it up your ass.”

“He speaks!”

“I mean, honestly, what the fuck is your problem? Is sex the only thing you care about?”

“No-”

“You’re sick, you know that? I hate you so much, Calum, so get into that tiny little brain of yours that we will never, ever be a thing and we sure as hell will never have sex. You’re disgusting and repulsive and awful and the way you talk to me could be considered a form of bullying. So, news flash, you’re just as bad as everyone else. You make me sick Calum, you make me want to rip my hair out, you make me want to scream. God, what is your problem even? I never did anything to you. Honestly, I swear to god, if you don’t leave me the fuck alone, you’ll regret it.”

“Is that your way of trying to scare me?”

“If you don’t shut your fucking m-”

“Cause it’s really not working.”

Ashton abruptly shot up from his chair so quickly that it was knocked over, causing everyone in the room to turn their eyes in the direction of Calum and Ashton. 

“You know what? Fuck you. I’m done, I can’t do this anymore,” Ashton shouted. “I hate you so much, Calum Hood, and nothing will ever change that.”

As the last words left his mouth, Ashton grabbed his bag and left the room, not caring at all that class wasn’t over yet. Like he said, he was done. He couldn’t handle Calum anymore. He couldn’t.

But here’s the thing.

Calum had a big ego, and everyone knew that.

And in all honesty, Calum had no fucking clue why he was treating Ashton like shit, but he couldn’t help it because he’s never felt like this before.

Yeah, that was no excuse for how he acts around Ashton, but he thought it was.

It’s just Calum liked Ashton so much. And yes, fine, he’ll admit it; he had a crush an Ashton. A crush so big it was probably scary.

Calum just didn’t know how to show it, and in a way, he was scared of it.

So he replaced his feelings with cruelness, considering it was the only thing he knew how to do. 

But Calum knew he fucked up, he knew he fucked up big; but he also knew that he had to fix things.

And now he was even more scared, because he’s pretty sure he broke Ashton into two unfixable pieces.

Calum was almost positive that there was no way now to get Ashton to like him, even if it was just as a friend. 

He needed to talk to Michael; Michael always knew what to say.

And he needed to try his hardest to gain Ashton’s trust back.

He knew it was going to be hard, maybe even one of the hardest things he’s ever had to do, but deep down he knew it was worth it because that’s just the thing about Ashton.

He was worth it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gUYSSS i really like this chapter for some reason so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me what you think <3

Ashton wasn’t in math class, nor was he in music.

So, of course, Calum just brushed it off and assumed he was sick. 

Which only left him confused because when he walked into the lunchroom, the older boy sat at the same table him and Luke always had.

“Hey, Michael?” Calum asked his friend as they sat at their own table that was overpopulated by jocks and cheerleaders.

“Yeah?” Michael replied, pulling out an apple from his childish Adventure Time lunch bag.

“Can you do me a favor?”

“Depends.”

“Can you find out why Ashton wasn’t in class?”

Michael shrugged and stood up, putting his apple down. “Sure.”

Calum watched Michael walk over to Ashton’s table, an annoyed look painted on his face as he spotted the vibrant haired teen. 

“So, Calum,” John, a fellow footy player, spoke, causing Calum to divert his attention from Ashton and to the left where the jock sat.

“What, John?”

“What’s up with you and Irwin?”

Calum rolled his eyes. “Why do you care, anyways?”

“Touchy subject, eh?”

“No,” Calum grumbled. “It’s just none of your damn business.”

“Ah, so it is a touchy subject.”

Let’s just get one thing straight; Calum did not like any of his fellow teammates other than Michael and he avoided them at all costs. So, when John had the ‘brilliant’ idea to start talking to Calum, he was immediately annoyed. And yes, it was a touchy subject, so it wasn’t a good mix being asked by John.

“Got a crush on him or something?”

Deep breathes, Calum thought in an attempt to calm himself down.

“I don’t see why,” John continued, satisfaction glinting in his eyes as he saw the affect his words had on Calum. “He’s a senior, first off, so you already have no chance. Even I can see how ugly he is, and I’m not even gay-”

“I’m not gay, dickhead.”

“-and to top that off, I heard he’s dumb as shit! I mean, he’s taking classes with a grade below, am I right?”

Calum stayed silent, his vision getting red and blurry with anger.

“Right. He got bullied at his last school, yeah?” John said, saying these things simply to make Calum mad because that’s just the kind of guy he was.

“No wonder, maybe we can have a little repeating of events if you know what I mean,” John laughed, the noise lined with iciness as the other players grunted in response. “Can’t have a fag roaming the halls with no punishment, I mean really.”

“I swear to god if you lay a hand on him-”

“You know how I said I wasn’t gay?” John asked, cutting Calum off. “I’d be willing to try some new things out, I guess. You think Ashton would be willing to help me out? Seems like the kind of guy that’d be willing to do anything I asked him t-”

But John’s sentence was cut off when Calum’s hand collided with the brunette’s face.

“Fuck you!” Calum yelled, punching John who was now on the floor in the face again and again and again because he wanted that stupid smile gone and he was just so mad. 

“You don’t know anything!” Calum continued, kicking John in the side so hard that the boy’s smile finally left and the cheerleaders to scream.

“You’re a worthless,” punch, “piece of shit,” kick, “who should leave everyone the fuck alone,” punch, “because I swear to god I’ll fucking kill yo-”

“Calum!” Michael yelled before grabbing his friend by his arms and literally pulling him off the body below him that wasn’t moving, finally breaking up the fight. 

Michael dragged Calum away from the small crowd that had formed so that someone could help the helpless but douchebag of a boy. Calum wiggled in Michael’s hold, adrenaline still pumping through his veins.

“Dude, calm the fuck down,” Michael said to Calum, a tight grip still on his shirt in fear Calum would do something stupid again.

“Shove off,” Calum muttered, trying to get out of Michaels grip yet again but failing because yeah, okay, maybe Michael was kind of strong. 

“Listen to me, Calum,” Michael practically fumed. “Get your shit together, man. You know you’re little plan to get on Ashton’s good side?”

Calum didn’t say anything.

“You’re just making things worse! Do you not understand that? You’re fucking things up even more! Honestly, what is your problem?” Michael continued, questioning his friend because he was just acting so stupid.

“What do you mean?”

Instead of responding, Michael pointed in the direction of the table where Ashton and Luke normally sat, causing Calum to look there. And Calum really, really wish he hadn’t because what he saw made his heart quench and hatred for himself to build.

Ashton was looking directly into Calum’s eyes, and nothing but fear filled his own. 

The part that made Calum feel the worst? He could just tell the fear wasn’t because of the fight, but because of Calum. 

Ashton was afraid of Calum.

-X-

“I told you,” Luke said as the pair walked out of the cafeteria, escaping the drama. “I told you he gets into fights. I told you he wasn’t a good guy. I told y-”

“I get it, okay, I get it!” Ashton shouted, stopping in his tracks, closing his eyes, and taking a deep breathe.

He just had so many thoughts running through his mind right now; so many that it was too big of a task to walk.

Had Calum gotten in a fight just for shits and giggles? Or did he have a reason? Did Calum realize the damage he had done to the other boy? Had he wanted to do even more? Why had he looked so upset when he spotted Ashton? Was it something Ashton had done? Wasn’t Ashton supposed to be the one that was upset with Calum?

“Ashton, what’s wrong?”

Ashton spun around to face Luke. “Did I do something to upset Calum?”

“What are you talking about?”

“When he looked at me he looked like a sad puppy. Was it because of me?”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t,” Ashton replied quickly, turning away from Luke and walking further down the hall to escape his friend’s judgmental gaze. “I’ll see you later.”

Ashton was really, really upset and he honestly wasn’t 100% sure why.

He felt like the thing that upset him most was the way Calum had looked at him, but that also confused him because why would he care with how Calum looked at him? He hated Calum. Right?

Calum had seemed so mad but as soon as his eyes had landed on Ashton, he just looked so broken which made Ashton feel broken.

But why? Why was Calum’s emotions having such a big impact on him? Why did he care so much? Why?

It couldn’t be because he liked him, could it? Ashton was set on the fact that he despised Calum and wanted nothing to do with him, hell he even switched classes to get away from him! But was that all just a lie? An act? Did he actually like the way Calum talked to him? Did he like Calum’s presence? Did he like Calum?

As much as Ashton didn’t want to admit it, and god he didn’t want to at all, all this thinking, just, yeah. Maybe, just maybe, he did like Calum.

No, actually, scratch that; there’s no maybes. He did like Calum.

Ashton was in a way mad at himself for admitting it because Calum often treated him like shit, but he couldn’t hide it anymore after finally realizing his feelings. He liked Calum no matter how messed up that was.

But should he let Calum know? Or should he keep up his act of hating him?

Ashton was still confused and barely knew any answers to his questions; but he did know one thing.

He had to find Calum.

-X-

“Michael!” Ashton called after spotting the boy with blue hair by his locker.

Michael shot his head back in the direction of Ashton, a confused look on his face. “Yeah?”

“Do you know where Calum is?”

“Pardon?”

“Where’s Calum?”

Michael looked completely and utterly lost. “What?”

“For god’s sake, Michael. Where is Calum?”

“Oh!” Michael said, finally realizing that Ashton wasn’t lying, he really did want to talk to his friend. “Gym locker-room. Why?”

“Doesn’t matter, thanks!” Ashton replied, turning around and heading down the hall to head to the gym. 

Ashton really didn’t want to go to the locker-room because it might be full of asshole-jocks, but he knew he needed to talk to Calum. He also hoped no one would be there because majority should be in class.

Ashton got to the locker-room in a good 5 minutes and stopped when he reached this door.

He could do this. As much as his head screamed ‘no! you can’t!’, Ashton told himself he could.

Which explained why he was currently opening the red door.

“Calum?” Ashton called out, holding his breathe because the room reeked of sweat. 

Ashton got no response, so he decided to try again, this time a little louder. “Calum?”

Ashton heard the sound of someone moving around and something falling to the ground, so he followed the noise in hopes it was Calum. The noise led Ashton to the back of the room and all he had to do to see if Calum was there was turn around the corner, but for some reason he was frozen in his spot. 

After giving himself a short and sweet pep talk, he turned the corner, calling for the boy he really hoped would be in front of him. “Calum?”

By turning the corner, much to his nervousness and happiness, Ashton was greeted by Calum, who, to put it nicely, looked like a mess. 

“Uh hey.”

“Have you been crying?”

Calum quickly turned around and suddenly became very interested with the contents in his locker. “No.”

“Why were you crying?”

“I wasn’t crying.”

“Yes you were.”

“No I wasn’t.”

“Calum.”

“Ashton.”

Ashton groaned in frustration. “Can you please not be a smart ass for once?”

“Why are you here?” Calum asked, ignoring Ashton’s comment.

“To find you.”

Calum froze. “What?”

“I came to find you.”

“Why?”

“I realized something,” Ashton shrugged. “And I thought I’d let you know.”

Calum finally turned away from his locker so that he faced Ashton with crossed arms. “Know what?”

“That I…uh…that I,” Ashton started, but for some reason couldn’t finished.

Calum squinted his eyes and glared and Ashton. “What, Ashton? Did you realize you hate me even more now? That you still want absolutely nothing to do with me? That you couldn’t give a fuck about me? That-”

“Calum,” Ashton interrupted. “Shut up.”

Calum closed his mouth.

“I came to tell you the opposite actually,” Ashton continued. “I realize I don’t hate you.”

“Bull.”

“What? Why would I lie?”

“You saw me beating up John, I know you did, so I know you hate me still, if not more. Maybe you should just g-”

“Why’d you start the fight?” Ashton interrupted again.

“What?”

“Why did you start the fight?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.”

“Ashto-”

“Answer me.”

“Fine! John was talking shit about you and I couldn’t take it or handle it so I hit him. Happy?” Calum spoke, sadness dripping from his voice. 

Ashton shook his head in attempt to collect his thoughts, a gesture that probably looked stupid. “Why would that bother you? Why do you care if someone talked badly about me?”

“It really doesn’t matter, Ashton.”

“It kind of does, Calum. But wait, why did you look at me like that?” 

“Like what?”

“Broken.”

Calum turned his attention from the dust on the floor to Ashton’s hazel eyes. “Because of the way you looked at me.”

“The way I looked at you? How did I look at you?”

“You looked completely terrified.”

“But how does that affect you?”

“It affects me because I care about you, Ashton!” Calum yelled, throwing his hands in the air in an angry gesture. “You looked scared of me, okay? And I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t handle the one person who I for some god damn reason care about being scared of me. You were practically the only one who didn’t, then bam, I make a stupid mistake and the game changes.”

“Calum-”

“Don’t.”

Ashton thought it would be best to stay silent, so he did. Awkward silence lingered until Calum spoke again.

“Are you?” he asked, sounding like a scared child. 

Ashton gave Calum a confused look. “Am I what?”

“Are you scared of me?” Calum asked, his change in tone so drastic that it came out as a whisper.

Just as Calum was about to walk away because Ashton was taking too long and oh my god Ashton was scared of him, Ashton shook his head. 

“No, no I’m not.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm posting this while in school OH WELL. this is kinda a filter with an exciting end ;)) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE comment!! okay enjoy love youu <3

“Are you just pulling my leg or are you being serious?” Calum asked, worry clear in his eyes.

“I’m being serious, Calum. I don’t lie.”

Calum nodded his head in a way of confirming Ashton’s words. “What now?”

“I don’t know,” Ashton shrugged. “We could try to be friends I guess?”

“Really?” Calum asked, eyes lighting up like a Christmas tree.

Ashton nodded. “Yeah, I don’t see why not.”

“So you won’t ignore me?”

“As long as you don’t make any rude or sexual comments, no.”

“I won’t say anything rude, but I can’t make any promises about sexual things.”

Ashton rolled his eyes. “Calum.”

“Sorry, Ash, but it’s kind of hard not to when you’re around,” Calum giggled, holding his hands up in defense.

The boys stayed quiet for a few seconds until Calum’s face broke into a large grin.

“What?” Ashton asked.

“I called you Ash.”

“Yeah, and?”

“And you didn’t get mad.”

“Cause we’re friends now,” Ashton replied, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“I like the sound of that,” Calum commented.

“Good, cause I do too.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I really do.”

-X-

“Wait, you’re hanging out with Calum on Friday and you got his number?” Luke asked, looking slightly horrified.

“Yeah,” Ashton replied as they walked out of the school’s front doors. 

“Did you not just see what happened earlier today?”

“I did see.”

“Then why are you hanging out with him? He’s dangerous, Ash.”

Ashton rolled his eyes. “He’s not dangerous. He was just sticking up for me.”

“’Sticking up for you’?! How is punching someone in the face sticking up for someone?”

“Luke, its fine, okay? Stop acting like it’s a big deal.”

“I just don’t want you getting hurt,” Luke grumbled.

“And I’m not going to. It’s not like we’re dating, we’re just friends.”

“Fine. But if he tries anything, I’m going to kill him,” Luke said, causing Ashton to laugh. “What?”

“I mean, no offense or anything, but you’re Luke. He’s Calum.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He’s like twice your size.”

“Whatever,” Luke huffed as Ashton threw an arm around his shoulders in a comforting way.

“It’s okay, Lukey. I appreciate it.”

Luke smiled and shrugged Ashton’s arm off his shoulders. “Leave me alone.”

“Oh!” Luke suddenly said as they reached Ashton’s car. “Michael came up to me after lunch.”

Ashton gave Luke a look as he climbed into his car. “He did? What did he want?”

“Um,” Luke said, cheeks turning slightly pink. “He asked for my number.”

Ashton’s eyes widened. “What?”

“And I kind of gave it to him?” Luke continued, sinking lower in his seat.

“Why?”

“I’m not really sure? I guess I just have a hard time saying no?”

Ashton giggled. “I have other ideas.”

“And what would that be?”

“Lukey’s got a crush,” Ashton grinned. 

“No, I don’t. I’m straight, okay?” Luke said, getting defensive and crossing his arms.

“Yeah, sure.”

“I am! Why are you so against me being straight?”

“I’m not against it, Luke. It’s just kind of obvious you like him because of how you get when he’s around you.”

“Well you’re wrong. I don’t like him.”

Ashton rolled his eyes. “I give it a week.”

“Give what a week?”

“A week until you admit your feelings.”

“Not gonna happen, Ash.”

“We’ll see.”

-X-

“Why hello, Ashton Irwin,” Calum greeted as the older boy sat next to him in math class.

“Hi, Calum,” Ashton smiled, pulling out his notebook and pen.

“How are you on this fine day?”

“I’m good, how are you? And why are you in such a good mood?”

Calum shrugged. “I’m just excited for Friday, I guess.”

“Me too,” Ashton replied, feeling giddy. 

“I’m so excited that I made a countdown on my phone.”

“You what?”

“Made a countdown.”

“Isn’t that a little creepy?” Ashton asked even though a giggle escaped his mouth.

Calum shrugged. “I like to be on top of things.”

“Whatever,” Ashton replied, shaking his head fondly.

“Hey, you can’t blame me. I’ve been waiting to go on a date with you since the first time I saw you.”

“It’s not a date, Calum.”

“Okay, whatever you say,” Calum said with a wink, causing Ashton to groan.

“It’s not!”

Calum laughed. “Yeah, sure.”

“We aren’t dating.”

“Not yet.”

“Calum,” Ashton moaned.

Calum smiled sheepishly. “I love when you moan my name. Can’t wait to hear it more often.”

“Calum!” Ashton repeated, hitting the boys arm. 

“Yes, Ash?”

“Quit it.”

“Hey, I’m sure you feel the same way; you just won’t admit it.”

“I can promise you I don’t want to hear myself moaning your name. That’s weird.”

“Yeah,” Calum replied in a whisper, leaning close to Ashton so his lips were by his ear. “But you’d probably love me saying yours.”

The closeness of Calum caused Ashton to shiver, boosting Calum’s ego and causing a smirk to form on his face.

“Exactly,” Calum said as the teacher walked in the room. “Don’t worry. You’ll hear it soon enough.”

-X-

To: Ashy <3  
this time tomorrow we’ll be on our date

To: Cal Pal  
it’s not a date

To: Ashy <3  
whatever you say baby ;)

To: Cal Pal  
oh my god do not call me baby

To: Ashy <3  
why not

To: Cal Pal  
because it’s weird

To: Ashy <3  
then what should I call you ;))

To: Cal Pal  
Ashton 

To: Ashy <3  
but that’s no fun

To: Cal Pal  
well, maybe one day I’ll let you call me something else 

To: Ashy <3  
is it sexual

To: Cal Pal  
..maybe

To: Ashy <3  
OH MY GOD ARE YOU BEING KINKY

To: Cal Pal  
no. go to bed. 

To: Ashy <3  
OH MY GOD YOU ARE BEING KINKY

To: Cal Pal   
gOODNIGHT

-X-

Ashton woke up on Friday morning feeling extremely happy.

He also felt really confident for some reason, which was why he was currently wearing a black tank top with a matching bandana.

Ashton had decided to walk to school today because Calum wanted to start hanging out right after school, so he had insisted on driving which meant it wouldn’t make sense for Ashton to bring his car to school.

Arriving at school with little time to spare, Ashton had to practically power walk to class. Luckily, he arrived with a few minutes to spare.

“You look hot as fuck today,” Calum greeted Ashton.

Ashton blushed in response.

“So about last night,” Calum continued. “Care to elaborate on your kinkiness?”

Ashton blushed even more. “I wasn’t being kinky.”

“Ah, you most certainly were. But don’t worry, Ashy. It’s extremely attractive.”

“You’re overthinking things,” Ashton replied, trying not to freak out at the fact that Calum had just called him Ashy.

“If you don’t tell me more, I’ll just ask Luke.”

Ashton’s eyes bugged, knowing that if Luke was questioned by Calum, Luke would feel intimidated to reply. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, we both know I certainly would.”

“Fine,” Ashton grumbled. “Maybe I have a kink. But you sure as hell aren’t going to find it out.”

“This is just great. Are you one of those people that like to get freaky? I can totally see that. Do you like to be called something? Oh my god, you do! You’re totally blushing. I wonder what it could be. Is it-”

“Calum, shut up.”

“Let’s see. Do you secretly like being called baby? Babe?”

“Can we please not talk about sex right now?”

“Are you implying that we can talk about it later?”

“No.”

“Then we are going to talk about it right now. What about sweetheart? Do you like that? Hm. The only other one I can think of right now is daddy, but I feel like that’s not y-”

Calum stopped midsentence when he noticed Ashton turning such a deep shade of red it was almost concerning. 

“Oh my god! You have a daddy kink?”

“Shut up, Calum,” Ashton said through gritted teeth as the teacher began teaching.

“I can’t believe you have a daddy kink! That’s so hot, oh my god.”

Ashton stayed quiet and tried to ignore Calum.

“Okay, fine,” Calum continued. “I’ll drop it. For now.”

“Thank you,” Ashton mumbled, still feeling horribly embarrassed. 

“Of course,” Calum smirked. “Anything for you, daddy.”

-X- 

“Ashton, why do you have a boner?” Luke asked as he walked out of the classroom with his friend.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Obviously you do. As much as I don’t want to admit it, it’s not hard to miss.”

Ashton stayed quiet, trying not to die on spot with humiliation. 

“Wait no one sits next to you except for Calum. Oh my god did Calum give you a boner?”

Ashton continued to stay quiet.

“Oh my god, he did! Calum Hood actually got to you! And gave you a boner!”

“Shut up, Luke.”

“This is great; absolutely great. The guy you hate turned you on. Honestly, this is golden.”

“I don’t hate him, remember?”

Luke rolled his eyes. “Whatever I still think it’s funny.”

“Yeah, funny for you.”

“That’s why it’s so great.”

“You’re a terrible friend, you know that?”

“You love me,” Luke giggled.

Ashton shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever, I need to go to the bathroom.”

Ashton started to walk away but stopped when he heard Luke call “Hey, Ash?” 

“Yeah?” Ashton asked, turning around.

“Do you…I don’t know…do you like Calum?”

“Of course I do, we’ve been over this.”

Luke shook his head. “No, I mean do you like like him?”

So yeah, Ashton did respond with a ‘no’ and a shake of the head, but anyone who would’ve looked into his eyes would’ve questioned if what he had just said was the truth.

-X-

The day went by fairly fast, and Calum and Ashton were currently walking out of the school building. And okay, yes, maybe Ashton was freaking out a little bit because Calum’s hand kept hitting his ever so slightly and wow it felt really nice.

“What does your shirt mean?” Ashton asked as the two got into Calum’s car (a fancy black range rover of course).

Calum looked down at his shirt before looking behind him as he backed out. “It’s for this non-profit movement called “TWLOHA” or “To Write Love on Her Arms”. It was basically created to help support and give hope to people struggling with depression.” 

Ashton stared at Calum with an open mouth.

“What?” Calum asked, glancing over at Ashton as he pulled out of the school parking lot.

“No offense or anything, but I didn’t think you were the type of guy to do things like that.”

Calum shrugged his shoulders. “I’m not as bad as people say, Ash. Plus, there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, hence us going on a date.”

Ashton gave Calum a look.

“Sorry, sorry. Hence us ‘hanging out’,” Calum corrected, speaking the words ‘hanging out’ as if they were poison.

Ashton rolled his eyes. “We could play 20 questions. Or 5 to make it less boring. A nice way to start things out, yeah?”

“Yeah, okay,” Calum agreed. “You go first.”

“Any siblings?” 

Calum nodded. “I have an older sister named Mali-Koa. What about you?”

“Younger brother named Harry and younger sister named Lauren. When’s your birthday?”

“January 25th, 1996. You?”

“July 7th, 1994.”

“I forgot you were so old,” Calum snickered.

“Shut up. Why do you look Asian?”

Calum scoffed. “I’m not Asian, thank you. Mum’s from New Zealand. Who’s your favorite band?”

“Too many to pick just one. I like Green Day, Nirvana, All Time Low, stuff like that. You?”

“Huh. Me too. Okay, um, favorite thing to do?”

“Probably play the drums. What about you? Other than football, I mean.”

Calum shrugged. “I like playing the guitar and singing I guess. Okay, I have one more question, right?”

Ashton nodded.

“Okay,” Calum continued. “Why do you wear so many bracelets?”

Ashton’s breathe hitched in his throat. “What?”

“Why do you wear so many bracelets?” Calum repeated.

Ashton had made a promise to himself a while ago, one that he planned on keeping. The promise was to be honest about his health with almost everyone, because he had come to the realization that talking helps. So, that’s why he told Calum the truth.

“Had a rough past,” Ashton explained, now fiddling with the bracelets. “Depression, self-harm, all that shit. I don’t really like to flaunt what happened, so I just cover it up instead.”

“I just want you to know that even if you’re still not 100% comfortable with me, please talk to me. I had a friend who struggled with the same stuff, and I didn’t do as much as I could to help him, so I don’t want to make that mistake again. And like I said to you before, I care about you. I really do.”

“Thanks, Calum,” Ashton said with sincerity. “How’s your friend doing now?”

“He, um, he killed himself two years ago,” Calum spoke, clearly trying hard to keep a steady voice. “But that’s a story for another time, okay? This nights about us, let’s not ruin the mood.”

Ashton nodded. “Okay, but Cal?”

“Yeah?”

“I care about you too.”

-X-

The boys arrived at Calum’s ‘secret destination’ about 10 minutes later. The destination turned out to be a really cute pizza shop, and even though Calum was really scared he wouldn’t, Ashton loved it.

“What are you going to order?” Calum asked once they had sat down at a table and got themselves situated. 

“I’m a simple man,” Ashton shrugged. “I think I might just get cheese. You?”

Calum smiled. “Hawaiian.”

“Hawaiian?” Ashton practically gagged. “That’s gross.” 

“I think you pronounced delicious wrong.”

Ashton rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

A couple minutes later an old lady came to take their order, and once she had, the two were left alone.

“Ah,” Calum said. “Alone at last.”

“You’re so stupid,” Ashton laughed, causing Calum’s heart to melt a little.

“So how are you liking school?” Calum asked, changing the subject.

“I mean it’s a lot better than my old school, and the boys are pretty hot,” Ashton said with a cheeky grin. “Especially the footy players. I mean, damn.”

Calum raised his eyebrows. “Ashton Irwin, are you implying that you think I’m hot?”

Ashton’s eyes widened as he realized what he had just said. “Oh my god. I mean- I didn’t- what I meant was- no, you know what? Yes. I do think you’re hot,” Ashton continued, feeling a burst of confidence.

“I think you just made my whole life, Ashy,” Calum grinned, sending chills throughout Ashton’s body because Calum had just called him Ashy again.

“Don’t be so dra-” Ashton started to say but was cut off by a phone ringing, or, more specifically, his phone ringing.

Checking the ID and seeing that it read ‘Luke’, Ashton knew it must be something important because Luke knew he was out with Calum and even though he wasn’t a huge fan of the footy player, Luke knew how important this night was to Ashton.

“Sorry, give me one second,” Ashton said, getting up from his seat and walking away from the table.

Ashton clicked the accept button on his phone as he reached a quiet corner and held it up to his ear. 

“Hello?”

“Oh my god Ashton I’m such an idiot. I’m going to hell I did such a stupid thing I’m shaking so badly and I think I might cry oh my god Ashton why did I do it? Why did I make such a m-”

“Luke,” Ashton said, cutting his friend off. “Calm down. Take a deep breath and tell me what happened.”

Luke followed Ashton’s instructions before speaking again. “I did something really bad, Ashton.”

“How bad?”

“Monumentally bad.”

Ashton sighed. “What did you do, Luke?”

There was a pause on the other line before Luke responded.

“I kissed Michael.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yaay an update!! JUST A WARNING THIS CHAPTER IS KIND OF SHITTY BUt still tell me what you think by commenting below <33 thanks and enjoy (as much as you can)

“Wait, what?”

“Please don’t make me say it again.”

“Okay, well, then, what the fuck happened?” Ashton pressed as he walked out of the shop in order to hear Luke better.

“I don’t know,” Luke started. “I’m drunk and I felt lonely I guess and he was kind of just there?”

“Luke I’m pretty sure there was plenty of other people there you could’ve made out with-”

“We didn’t make out!”

“-so my big question is why Michael?”

“I told you, he was just there.”

“And I told you that I have no doubt there was someone else there that you could’ve kissed. So, again, why Michael? Just tell me the truth, Luke. It’s not like I’m gonna judge you.”

Luke sighed. “You promise you won’t hate me?”

“I promise.”

Luke sighed again. “You know how Michael’s always, like, really flirty with me?”

“I’d be blind if I didn’t.”

“Well, there’s kind of a reason,” Luke explained. “We’ve kind of been, uh, hooking up for the past year.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Basically this isn’t the first time I’ve kissed Michael.”

Ashton stayed silent; that definitely was not what he expected to hear from Luke and this caused a big question to flash in his mind like a street sign at a beat up shop. 

“But I thought you said you didn’t like him? Does this mean you do?”

Luke stayed silent this time.

“Luke it’s not the end of the world to like him, okay? Please just stop hiding things from me.”

“Look the reason I called you and started freaking out is because I realized that yeah, okay, maybe I do like him. But it doesn’t matter. He’s made it clear he has no interest in being in a relationship and that this is strictly just hooking up. So please don’t tell Calum. Please.”

Ashton shook his head in confusion and groaned. “Fine, but we’re having a serious talk about this on Monday, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Go home, yeah? Have someone drive you and just sleep this off. It’ll work out, don’t worry Lukey.”

“I hope,” Luke mumbled. “Thanks Ash, see ya on Monday.”

“Bye, Luke,” Ashton replied before taking the phone off his ear and hitting the red ‘end’ button. 

Ashton stared at the black screen of his phone a little longer before putting it back in his pocket and returning inside the pizza parlor where Calum was waiting. 

“Everything okay?” the other boy asked as Ashton sat back down in his seat.

“Yeah,” Ashton replied. “Something just happened with Luke, but it’ll be fine.”

“Well that’s good.”

“Yeah,” Ashton repeated. “Where’s the pizza?”

Calum shrugged. “Should be here soon. You sure everything’s okay? You seem kind of off.”

Ashton nodded. “I’m sure. So what’s up? Enough about me, what’s going on in the wonderful life of Calum Hood?”

“Not much, we have a football game coming up soon. You should come,” Calum replied at the same time the waiter returned with the pieces of pizza. 

“Yeah I might. Is it home?”

“Yeah, but I don’t know why I asked cause either way you’re going.”

“And why is that?”

“Because you’re my good luck charm.”

“Oh my god,” Ashton said with an eye roll as he took a bite of pizza. 

“I’m serious, I was playing really shitty in practices and then, bam, you’re there when I play and I play like a professional. So, again, you’re my good luck charm.”

“Whatever, Cal,” Ashton giggled, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

Suddenly, though, Calum started choking on a piece of his pizza, causing Ashton to rush to his side of the table and hit his back in what he thought was a helpful manner. 

“Oh my god are you okay?” Ashton asked, still hitting Calum’s back even though he had stopped choking because he was scared he might start up again.

Calum let out another cough and took a sip of his soda. 

“Oh my god,” Calum finally spoke, repeating Ashton’s words.

“What?”

“You called me Cal,” Calum explained, as if it was obvious.

“Okay…and?”

“Cal is a name my friends call me, and it still just always makes me happy and excited and kind of freak out when I’m reminded that we’re actually friends now so it shouldn’t a big deal that you called me that. But, I don’t know, to me it is. It’s kind of a big deal.”

Ashton chuckled. “You’re so weird.” 

“I prefer the term adorable.” 

“Shut up.”

“Aw, c’mon Ash. We both know you think I’m the cutest.”

Ashton laughed again and shrugged his shoulders. “Eh, can’t say I disagree.”

-X-

The rest of the night was filled with talking, Calum’s flirt attempts, and Ashton’s giggles that practically lit up the whole shop and faces of anyone sitting in hearing distance.

Currently, the two sat in Calum’s car in front of Ashton’s house, both more upset then they probably should’ve been because the night was coming to an end.

“Well,” Calum spoke. “I had a good time tonight, Ashton.” 

Ashton nodded. “I’m kind of surprised with how much fun I had.”

“I’m kind of sad it’s over.”

“Well, we could always do it again sometime.”

“Really?”

“Course, but I really should go. Have to get up early to go to my brother’s football game,” Ashton said as he undid his seatbelt.

“Your brother plays football?”

Ashton nodded. 

“I like him already,” Calum grinned.

“Have a good rest of the night,” Ashton spoke, stepping out of the car.

“You too, Ashy,” Calum replied, getting a red faced Ashton in response. 

Calum was about to put the car in reverse and drive away when Ashton got a sudden burst of confidence. 

“Hey Cal?” Ashton called out.

“Yeah?” 

“Maybe…um,” Ashton started to speak, but his confidence was suddenly dripping away.

“Maybe what?”

“I don’t know,” Ashton tried again. “Maybe next time it could be a date.”

Calum’s face became brighter than the sun in response. “Yeah, I think that could work.”

-X-

The weekend flew by rather quickly and Ashton found himself pulling in front of Luke’s house all too soon.

Today was the day when they would have their ‘serious discussion’. Ashton sent Luke a simple ‘I’m here’ text, taking a deep breathe. 

Honestly, this wasn’t really a huge deal, but Ashton was just nervous because he wasn’t the best at talking about serious things and he was scared he would say something to piss Luke off.

And he absolutely hated people being mad with him. 

Luke appeared on the passenger side of the car in mere seconds, opening the door and hopping in casually. 

Neither boy mumbled a greeting for a solid 5 minutes before Ashton finally spoke up, unable to handle the tension.

“Okay, so you have a lot of explaining to do.”

Luke sighed. “There’s not much to say other than I’m completely fucked because I like Michael.”

“You’re not fucked, Luke. You’re just in a sticky situation, per say.”

“No, Ashton, I am fucked. Have you seen him? And then have you seen me?”

“Okay, first off, I have and you’re both equally hot. And secondly, do you honestly think you aren’t allowed to like him because of appearance?” 

“Yes.”

“Okay for a really smart guy you’re acting really dumb.”

“You just don’t get it, Ash.”

“Actually,” Ashton huffed. “I do. Because it’s the exact same with me for Calum.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well I mean Michael and Calum are kind of similar in the way they’re both really attractive and, like, the most popular guys in school. I never think I have a chance with Calum because of that, but I just keep reminding myself if he didn’t like me in some way he wouldn’t be trying so hard. I think it’s the same with Michael, honestly.” 

“Yeah,” Luke agreed. “But it’s not like that changes my mind. I just don’t know what to do.”

Ashton shrugged. “You could imply that you want to be more than just hook up buddies?”

“But what if I’m too nervous to imply anything?”

“Then you’re screwed.”

“Wow, thanks.”

“Aw, c’mon Luke,” Ashton said. “Don’t be such a baby and just do something. The worst thing that could happen is he doesn’t like you in that way, and that wouldn’t be the end of the world. You’ll find ‘the one’ eventually.”

“But what if Michael’s the one and I ruin it by not speaking up?”

“Well,” Ashton sighed. “It’s kind of up to you.”

“I’ll think about, okay?”

“Okay, just don’t do anything stupid, yeah?”

“Yeah, because I’m totally not one to do something stupid,” Luke said, rolling his eyes.

Ashton chuckled. “Yeah, but maybe this times different.”

“Well, I really hope you’re right.”

-X-

Something different happened when Ashton was heading to his locker. Standing in front of it, scrolling through their phone, was none other than Calum.

“Um, hello?” Ashton said as he reached where the younger boy stood. 

Calum looked up from his phone, a childish grin on his face. “Hi, Ashy.”

“Is there a particular reason why you’re standing in front of my locker?” Ashton asked as he started to fiddle with the lock.

“I thought I’d walk you to class today.”

“And why is that?”

Calum shrugged. “Mix things up I guess.”

“Are you sure that’s the only reason?”

“Not exactly, no.”

“Then what’s the other reason?”

“I want to be seen walking with you.”

Ashton rolled his eyes as he put books he didn’t need in his locker and took out ones he did. “You can be so weird sometimes.”

“Nothing weird about letting people know I’m friends with the new hot senior.”

“Shut up,” Ashton muttered, cheeks burning while he closed his locker, turning in the direction of math, Calum jogging to his side to catch up.

“It’s true,” Calum continued. “I don’t get why you don’t believe me, because you’re probably the hottest guy in school.”

“Probably?”

“I don’t know, man. Luke’s pretty attractive.”

“Asshole,” Ashton said, playfully shoving Calum with a giggle.

The two eventually reached the math classroom, sitting in their normal seats and pulling out the needed supplies while they waited for the teacher to arrive. 

“Hey, Ash?” Calum asked once he realized he had time to talk because the teacher was late.

“Yeah?”

“Is there something going on between Luke and Michael?”

Ashton’s eyes widened. “Why do you ask that?”

“I’m not sure, Michael is just talking about Luke a lot more than usual and I was just wondering if something happened between them.”

Ashton shook his head furiously as he remembered the promise he had made to Luke. “There’s nothing going on as far as I know of.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Calum nodded his head. “Okay, cool.”

Finally, the teacher entered the room, quickly diving into the lesson because she had been late.

As Ashton was writing down the notes for reviewing linear equations, he felt a tap on his shoulder. The tap had come from his left, so he knew it was Calum.

“Yeah?” Ashton whispered.

“I forgot to ask you something; are you free Friday?”

“I think so, why?”

“There’s a party at my friends this weekend and I was wondering if you’d like to come? Like, with me?” Calum asked, almost coming off as nervous.

“Yeah, that sounds fun,” Ashton replied. 

“Awesome,” Calum said, signature goofy grin on his face.

Ashton couldn’t help but smile too, just because Calum had that effect on him. 

In a way, though, Ashton was also nervous because of that. No one ever made him feel like this, made his heart beat as fast as a hummingbird’s wings by just looking at him.

Honestly, it just confirmed Ashton’s feelings, and he wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing.

He really, really liked Calum. And when he says that, he doesn’t mean just as a friend.

-X-

Ashton was currently sitting at his usual lunch table mildly confused because he was sitting by himself. In other words, he had no idea where Luke was, and he was rather embarrassed because he probably looks like a loner sitting by himself.

As if reading his thoughts though, seconds later Ashton received a text from Luke.

Lucifer: meet me in the bathroom by the cafeteria

For some unknown reason, Ashton felt his gut twist at Luke’s words, so he quickly made his way to where Luke was.

Ashton pushed open the bathroom door a minute later, walking in and looking around for Luke. He was nowhere in sight, but a pair of black vans in a stall were. Ashton assumed it was Luke, so he went over to the door and knocked.

“Sorry, I’ll be out soon,” Luke practically squeaked after Ashton had knocked.

“It’s me, Luke.”

Suddenly, the stall door, revealing a sight that made Ashton’s heart quench.

Luke was a mess, to put it nicely. His left eye was purple and swollen, his lip was busted and bloody, his shoulders were slumped, and his facial expression screamed ‘deflated’.

“What- what the- what the fuck happened?” Ashton found himself asking, unsure of what to do.

Luke looked down at his feet, ignoring Ashton.

“Luke,” Ashton pressed, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him towards the sinks so he could make an attempt at cleaning his friend up. “Tell me what happened.”

Luke continued to stay silent as Ashton wet a paper towel with warm water. Ashton started to dab at Luke’s lip, making him wince.

“Um,” Luke finally spoke. “Got beaten up.”

“No shit. But who did it? And why?”

Luke sighed. “Footy players.”

“Why did they beat you up?” Ashton asked, throwing the now bloody paper towel away and grabbing a new one.

Luke sighed again. “I’m pretty sure one of them saw Michael and I hook up, and told the rest of the team. So they cornered me in the hall and claimed I was ‘making their friend gay’ and ‘causing tension in the team’ and that I was the ‘reason their star player was playing so poorly.”

Ashton scoffed. “Does Michael know they did this?”

What happened next surprised Ashton; Luke appeared to almost start crying, so Ashton pulled him in a hug and allowed him time to answer.

Eventually Luke pulled away, sniffling and wiping at his eyes, careful to not put too much pressure on the bruised one. “Yeah.”

“And did he try and stop them? Did he try to help you?”

“He, um, he,” Luke started to stay, bottom lip slightly quivering. “He’s the one who gave me the black eye.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“He punched me in the face, hence my eye.”

After Ashton had finally comprehended Luke’s words, he was so pissed off he saw red. 

“Stay here, okay?” Ashton said to Luke as he walked out of the bathroom. “I need to take care of something.”

Ashton was livid. How could Michael be so low that he punched Luke in the face? He clearly liked Luke, but was he such an awful person he’d punch someone he liked just to be accepted by a stupid team?

Ashton bursted through the cafeteria doors, eyes scanning the large room for Michael. He spotted him quickly; he was sitting at his normal table with the footy players.

Ashton stomped over to the table, and once he reached it, he grabbed Michael by the collar and pulled him out of his seat, ending up with Michael on the floor.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Ashton practically screamed.

Michael looked completely surprised, slowly getting up from the floor looking lost, which, of course, only mad Ashton that much more mad.

“You’re such a dick!” Ashton said, shoving Michael in the chest. “How could you do something like that? I know you’re a douchebag, but are you really so terrible that’d you’d hit him?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I swear to fucking god if you keep playing this innocent act I will fucking rip you’re head off and-” 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Calum spoke up coming from nowhere, cutting Ashton off and stepping between him and the boy with vibrant hair. “What’s going on here?”

“Why don’t you ask your prick of a friend,” Ashton seethed.

Calum looked at Michael. “What happened?”

“I don’t even know! He j-”

“Oh, fuck you Michael. You know exactly what you did and you’re acting like a pussy by not owning up to it.”

Calum looked at Ashton and repeated his question. “What happened?”

“You know what? It’s not my business, but let me tell you,” Ashton said, looking away from Calum and looking Michael straight in the eye. “Stay the fuck away from him. If you so much as lay a finger on him, if you keep leading him on, if you look at him, I will fucking find you and you will regret meeting me.”

With that, Ashton stalked away, leaving a confused Calum and a cowarding Michael behind.

Ashton knew that all this drama that was happening was probably going to create some stupid high school ‘war’, but honestly he didn’t care.

He was mad and just so done with that Michael kid who has done nothing but put Luke in a dark hole. 

But Ashton also found himself feeling confused.

Did this mean that Ashton would have to stay away from Calum so that he would avoid any more encounters for Luke and Michael? Did this mean that Ashton could no longer be friends with Calum in order to keep his best friend healthy? Was Ashton being too dramatic, or did what he was thinking make sense?

Ashton really, really didn’t want to stop being friends with Calum, but he also really, really didn’t want to stop being friends with Luke.

But Luke and Ashton had been friends before he and Calum had, so that meant he had to side with Luke, right?

That was the problem, though.

Ashton didn’t know.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY THIS ISNT GOOD I SWEAR THEY'LL START BEING BETTER ITS JUST I NEED STUFF TO LEAD UP TO THE EXCITING STUFF IM SORRY. tell me what you think lub yew <33

Facts were facts, and fact was that Michael liked Luke. As in, more than an ‘acquaintance’. 

Michael had never really hid his feelings before, and people could tell considering how much he flirted with Luke. But here’s the thing; no one took it seriously. Everyone thought that Michael was just picking on the schools genius by leading him on because, c’mon, Michael was one of the most popular guys in school, so why would he want to get with Luke?

For multiple reasons, actually. There wasn’t a thing that Michael didn’t love about Luke. He liked everything from his bright blue eyes to his tarantula legs. 

So when Luke had kissed Michael a little less than a year ago, Michael might’ve been the happiest guy in the world. The problem, though, was Luke was quick to find Michael the following day at school and explain it was a ‘mistake’ and he was ‘just really drunk’. But then it happened again. 

The second time Luke was clearly very sober. And, yeah, okay, maybe Michael was the one to kiss Luke this time around, but it’s not like Luke tried to push him away. If anything, Luke had simply deepened the kiss to the point he appeared hungry and the only thing that could satisfy him was the taste of Michael’s lips.

After that, they kind of made a silent pack that they could be ‘hookup buddies’. And that was great to Michael because it meant he got to make out with a hot guy multiple times, plus they always did it in private so no one was around to judge. Well, until a couple days ago.

A couple of days ago, when Michael had last kissed Luke, things had gotten a little out of control. Michael was really, really drunk as was Luke, so they weren’t being very cautious when they found each other. They were so drunk that they even started to get a little handsy, Michael’s hands riding up Luke’s shirt and Luke’s fingers tugging at Michael’s newly green hair causing the footy player to release moans that Luke caught with his mouth.

They hadn’t thought much about it at the moment because they were so caught up with each other, but that had backfired when Michael had gotten to school on Monday.

When Michael had arrived to school, he was immediately corned by his teammates. They started drilling him with questions; what’s up with you and Luke? Are you gay? You could have made out with anyone you wanted, why pick him? And why a boy?  
Honestly, it kind of pissed Michael off that they were making such a big deal out of the fact he kissed the same gender (c’mon, it’s the twenty first century for heaven’s sake), but it also kind of scared him. Yeah, they weren’t that good at football, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t built for it. Majority of the team was 6 foot or taller with broad shoulders and big arms. You really, really didn’t want to mess with them, and just because Michael was one of the best players didn’t give him any advantages. So Michael played the innocent act. 

“What are you talking about?” Michael replied, attempting to make himself look helpless. 

“We saw you at the party,” John (oh, John; Michael really hated John) spoke up. 

Michael shook his head. “Look, he came onto me! Do you really think I would hookup with Luke? Do you know how crazy you’re all sounding right now?”

“He came onto you?”

“That’s what I’m saying!”

Andrew, a fellow football player, let go of the grasp he had on Michael’s shirt. “You swear?”

“I swear.”

“Well we know what that means,” Andrew said, looking around to make sure there wasn’t any teachers around.

“What does that mean?” Michael asked cautiously.

“We’re gonna find this Luke kid and teach him a little lesson,” Andrew explained, rolling his shoulders and cracking his knuckles to make himself seem more superior.

“I don’t really think that’s necessary-”

“I’m pretty sure I saw him by his locker, we should check there first,” someone said.

Andrew nodded. “Where is it?”

“By the science room.”

Andrew and the other boys started walking in the direction of where they hoped Luke would be. Michael felt terrible, he really did, but he felt like he couldn’t have his team thinking lower of him. They wouldn’t hurt Luke too badly, would they?

“Michael,” John called, pulling Michael out of his thoughts. “You coming?”

Michael nodded his head and jogged up to the rest of his team, crossing his fingers that Luke wasn’t still at his locker.

-X-

Eventually the team arrived to where Luke was standing. Michael doesn’t want to go into detail about what happened because it honestly hurt him, but let’s just say the team completely wrecked Luke. The worst part? Michael was pressured to be a part of it. 

“Get some revenge, dude,” the team had said, edging Michael on. 

“Yeah,” they continued. “Show him whose boss!”

So Michael punched Luke in the eye, moving his hand with force so it looked more believable; so it looked like he was mad.

But that’s the thing; he wasn’t mad. If anything, he felt broken. And he knows that’s selfish and stupid and mean and just awful because this was his fault after all, but he never meant to hurt Luke, never meant to drag him into all of this. 

But he did and he hated himself so much because he was such a terrible person and he should’ve just let the stupid team beat him up and not Luke because Luke hadn’t done anything. This was all Michael’s fault and he had let things too far. He was paying the price in a way though, because now the people he doesn’t want liking him like him, and the one person he really wants to like himself hates him.

But was that the truth? Did Michael mean it when he said he didn’t want the team liking him? Because if so, why did he let them beat up poor innocent Luke? Why did he make up lies? Why?

Why did things have to be so complicated? Michael didn’t mean for all of this to happen; but that’s the problem. It had happened. 

Michael’s skies had gone from sunny to gray all too quickly.

-X-

It had been a day since the incident with Luke, which also meant it had been a day since Ashton had talked to Calum.

Calum had no idea what was going on because Michael had yet to tell him what happened, but he was slowly putting the pieces together. Ashton was obviously mad at Michael for something he had done to Luke, and last time he saw Luke, he was a mess.

The big question for Calum was this; was Luke like this because of Michael? Would Michael do that, though? Last time Calum had checked, Michael really liked Luke. Right?

Calum was also confused as to why Ashton wasn’t talking to him. It’s not like it’s his fault that Luke had gotten beaten up or for Michael’s actions. So why had Ashton not talked to him?

Honestly, Calum thought Ashton was being unreasonable. He might have a different and good reason for what he was doing, but Calum had finally become friends with the older boy and now it’s almost like they were back to how they used to be. 

Calum hated it. Absolutely hated it. 

Currently, Calum sat in the math room, tapping his pencil on his desk as he waited for Ashton to show up. Maybe Ashton needed some space, but Calum wasn’t really good at doing things like that, hence his plan.

He was hoping that when Ashton finally arrived to class (it starts in 3 minutes, where is he?), he would be able to get him to at least say something. 

With 1 minute left until class started, Ashton bursted through the door, rushing to his seat and mumbling a ‘sorry’ when Ms. Cindy gave him a death glare.

“Hi,” Calum whispered once Ashton had collected himself.

Ashton nodded his head, and even though he hadn’t said actually words, Calum still saw it as progress.

“Are you going to tell me why you’re not talking to me?” Calum continued.

Ashton shrugged his shoulders. 

“Did I do something?” Calum asked, earning a shake of the head in response from Ashton.

“Okay…” Calum continued. “Then why aren’t you talking to me?”

“Sorry, I don’t mean to,” Ashton replied, voice sounding like angels to Calum because he had actually spoken. “I’m just still kind of pissed off at your douchebag friend.”

“He still hasn’t told me what he did.”

Ashton rolled his eyes. “Figures.”

“Can you please just tell me? I mean, I might be able to help.”

Ashton looked at Ms. Cindy and then back at Calum with a sigh. “Fine.”

Calum put his pencil down, accepting the fact he probably wasn’t going to get any notes down once Ashton started speaking.

“Basically, long story short, Luke and Michael have been hooking up a lot in the past year and a footy player caught them. So they found Luke at school yesterday and beat him up. You know his black eye?”

Calum nodded.

“Yeah, well, Michael gave it to him.”

“Michael punched him? In the face?”

Ashton grunted in response.

“Why would he do that?” Calum pressed, feeling both confused and mad. 

“No idea,” Ashton shrugged. “But it pisses me the hell off.”

“Yeah you and me both.”

The pair stayed quiet for a little, letting the sound of the teacher’s voice be the only noise.

“I can try talking to Michael,” Calum said, breaking the silence.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“I mean I don’t think it would hurt to try.”

Ashton stayed quiet, so Calum assumed he was okay with it, most likely because he wanted answers.

“Hey, do you still want to come to the party with me on Friday?” Calum asked, attempting to make the topic a happier one. 

“Course, I’m actually really looking forward to it.”

“You are?”

“Yeah. I could use a good distraction. Plus, it’ll be nice to spend time with you.”

Calum smiled. “Awesome. Can’t wait.”

-X-

Calum decided to have a talk with Michael before lunch so they could have it in somewhat private. He was currently waiting by Michael’s locker, fiddling with his phone like he normally did when he got nervous.

Michael appeared a short 2 minutes later, looking puzzled when he saw who was waiting for him.

“Hey?”

“We need to talk,” Calum said sternly, putting his phone away and crossing his arms.

“Okay?”

“Why didn’t you tell me? And why’d you do it?”

“Pardon?”

“Oh c’mon, Michael. Stop acting like the fucking victim. Why didn’t you tell me about you and Luke? And why the hell did you punch the poor kid?”

“I don’t want to talk about,” Michael mumbled, distracting himself with the contents in his locker.

“Well too bad,” Calum said, growing slightly annoyed. “Because we’re going to talk about it.”

“It’s not a big deal, Cal. I’ve hooked up with people before. I’ve punched people before. Stop acting like it’s the end of the world.”

“Bull. It is a big deal because you actually liked Luke-”

“I don’t like Luke.”

“-so don’t try and act like you don’t. We’ve been friends for ages, Michael. I know when you like someone.”

Michael groaned as he closed his locker. “Can we talk about this some other time?”

“Why won’t you just own up to your mistakes and tell me what’s going on?”

“Because nothing’s going on, Calum! Stop acting like you know everything, alright? It’s annoying as shit and it’s none of your business anyways, so fuck off.”

“What’s your problem?” Calum called out because Michael had started to walk away.

“You are!” Michael yelled back in response, turning a corner in the hall so that he had gone out of sight.

Calum kicked the closest locker in anger. Honestly, what was Michael’s problem? Why didn’t he want to talk about what had happened? If it’s not a big deal then shouldn’t it not be an issue to talk about it?

Calum was really fucking pissed, but in a way, he was kind of anxious. He’d seen Michael like this before, but it was only once.

He had been like this when their friend, Jack, had committed suicide. He refused to talk about his destructive actions and emotions and everyone thought he was going to explode. But that’s the thing; he didn’t. For some unknown reason, he didn’t seem affected – but Calum knew he had been. Yeah, he wasn’t saying anything or showing that he was hurt, but Calum’s known Michael for years. He knows his friend like the back of his hand, so when his smiles didn’t quite reach his eyes or his foot wouldn’t stop tapping in a nervous manner, Calum knew his friend had dug himself deep.

So why was he acting like that now? Why was this having such a big effect on him?

That, right there, is what made Calum the most nervous.

Something was up with Michael, and it wasn’t a good thing. 

Calum was worried for his friend. Like, really worried. But what was he supposed to do? Michael would just keep pushing him away until a good month went by, maybe even longer, and then he’d act like nothing had happened.

Obviously this wasn’t healthy, and yeah, it didn’t seem like a big deal right now, but this is how it happened last time. It started with the refusal to talk about things and then it just went downhill from there.

It might not seem like a big deal that Michael didn’t want to talk about what was going on, but the thing about Michael is that he doesn’t have a filter; he literally doesn’t stop talking and always looks for a chance to start a conversation.

Something was wrong with Michael, but what?

What terrible thing could’ve happened to make Michael this way?

Calum knew he had to find out, or things would get bad again; and he really didn’t want that to happen. But what was it?

What was wrong with Michael?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG AND SORRY IT'S SO AWFUL BUT PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OKAY BYE LOVE YOU

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“What’s not?”

“Going to the party.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because Calum will be there.”

Ashton scoffed. “Why do you keep talking so negatively about him?”

“Because I’ve heard about how he is at parties. And I’ve witnessed it.”

“What does he do?”

“Gets drunk and fucks anyone that will let him.”

“Well that’s great for him,” Ashton said, shaking his head slightly. “It’s his decision. Maybe I’m going to have a good time, not because he’ll be there.”

“Didn’t you say he was the one who invited you to come? And that he specifically asked that you two would go together?”

“Yeah, but doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy myself without him.”

“Okay, fine. Just be careful, please?”

“It’s not like I’m gonna get hurt, Luke.”

“Just be careful, okay?”

Ashton nodded his head, finally giving in. “Okay, yeah, I’ll be careful.”

He hung up the phone. 

-X-

Friday came quickly. Calum wasn’t in school because he was preparing for the party, and Ashton didn’t understand that 100%, but he was okay with it because Calum had been sending him cute little texts throughout the day.

Luke hadn’t been in school all week because his mom had freaked out when she found out what had happened. She refused to let her son walk the halls again until someone did something about the footy team. Obviously there was nothing that could be done considering the school basically revolved around the team. Mrs. Hemmings was determined though, which ultimately meant that Luke probably wouldn’t be in school for quite a long time. Not the Luke really minded anyways.

Michael still hadn’t owned up to his mistake. It was obvious he was avoiding Ashton, and it was also obvious that Calum was pissed as well because Ashton rarely saw them together throughout the week.

Things with Calum and Ashton were good. Like, really good. Yeah, Calum still did flirt lamely, but it wasn’t excessive or constantly sexual. It was nice and only made Ashton’s crush grow for Calum, which he still wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing.

He was really hoping it was a good thing.

-X-

Before he knew it, Ashton was getting ready for the party. Calum had told him to come at around 10:30, so he was currently getting ready at 10:15. 

Because Ashton wasn’t very good at picking out clothes, he had asked for Calum’s opinion.

‘if you wear a tank top and bandanna I’ll love you forever’

So Ashton decided to wear his black bandanna, tight black tank top, and black boots. He was so desperate to look good for Calum that he had even asked his sister, Lauren, for advice. She had replied with a simple “you look really muscley” so Ashton took that as he looked at least somewhat decent.

Honestly, Ashton was really nervous. As embarrassing as it was, he’s never actually been to a real party considering the standards at his old school. He knew he’d be okay because he’d have Calum, but he still worried. 

What if Calum ‘went to get drinks’ but never returned? What if Calum got drunk and did something stupid? Yeah, they weren’t dating, but Ashton wasn’t sure he could handle Calum getting handsy with someone, let alone kissing them.

Maybe Ashton was overacting. Maybe things would go perfectly and he didn’t need to worry at all.

But something bad always happened at high school parties; well, they always did in movies. This wasn’t a movie, yeah, but Ashton still worried. 

He just hoped it would be a night that he would look back on and only remember good things.

-X-

Ashton arrived at the house where the party was being held at around 10:45.

It was mobbed to say the least. People littered the front lawn like trash that hadn’t made it to the bin, the music was so loud that you could hear it streets away, and there was alcohol everywhere you looked. 

Seemed like a damn good party if you were to ask Ashton. 

He was still a little upset though because Calum had texted him last minute saying he wouldn’t be able to pick Ashton up and he would have to go by himself. He did make a promise to hang out with Ashton the whole time to make up for it, but it still made Ashton a little…unsteady.

Ashton squeezed through bodies once he entered the house in attempts to find the kitchen. It was a party for God sakes, he needed some alcohol. 

Eventually reaching his designated spot, Ashton was quick to grab a red cup and fill it with whatever was in the barrel. It smelled like shit, but Ashton still chugged his first cup down in record time. He was already about to drink his 3rd cup when someone had bumped into him.

“Oh sor-” Ashton started to say, but he cut himself short when he realized just who was standing before him.

“Aw, look! The little faggot decided to make an appearance,” John laughed, voice threaded with ice. 

Ashton looked at his toes before meeting Johns gaze. “Just leave me alone, please.”

John laughed again. “Where would the fun in that be? Boys!”

Ashton looked at John with a confused look. What did he mean ‘boys’? Did he- oh. That’s what he meant.

Not even seconds after John made his ‘announcement’, Ashton found himself surrounded by 5 footy players.

This situation was bad already.

To start things off, Ashton wasn’t good with crowds. Ever since being bullied at his old school, Ashton had grown a fear for being cornered. Now, no one really likes to be cornered, but it was worse with Ashton. Much worse.

The other thing is Ashton’s already had 2 cups of what he was pretty sure was straight up vodka. So, in other words, he wasn’t really ‘on top of his game’. Things had become blurry around the edges and he was 99% sure the earth was moving, even if it was only slightly.

“Look, why don’t we all just go our own ways, enjoy the party, a-” Ashton started to reason.

“Or maybe we could knock some sense into you. You’re friends with that Luke kid, yeah? Yeah, you are. Little fucker tried turning one of our star players gay, and I can see exactly what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to be like your little friend and turn our other star gay, well you know what? Not gonna happen, kiddo.”

“I haven’t done anything to make Calum g-”

“Shut the fuck up, oh my god. This would be so much easier if you just stopped talking,” John seethed, making Ashton flinch as the group of boys started to gather closer around Ashton.

“Could you please, like, back up a little?”

John laughed. “Aw, does little Ashy not like being crowded? Aw, what a shame! Too bad I love to get nice and cozy.”

Ashton wasn’t sure when it had started, but his breathing had become rapid, his palms were sweaty, and his heart was about to beat out of his chest. This wasn’t good. Oh god, oh god this wasn’t good.

“Aw don’t be afraid, Ashton. It’ll be over before you know it,” John soothed with a voice like venom. “Just close your e-”

“Oi! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Calum.

“Aw, shove off Calum.”

“The fuck is your problem?”

“Just go awa-”

“I won’t go the fuck away. Leave Ashton alone, dipshit. Do you really want to pick a fight with me? Want me to give you another broken nose there, Johnny?”

John looked from Ashton to Calum and back at Ashton.

“This isn’t over, faggot,” John muttered so that only Ashton could hear him.

But in all honesty, Ashton wasn’t really paying attention. He was focusing on getting his breathe back to normal.

After Calum said something to John that made him flinch, Calum was quick to be by Ashton’s side.

“Are you okay? Did they touch you? Did they hurt you?”

Ashton shook his head no.

“Do you want some air? You really don’t look too good.”

Ashton nodded his head, so Calum wrapped an arm around his shoulders and lead him to a door near the back.

A sudden burst of air hit Ashton’s face once the door had been opened, and Calum walked him over to a bench near the back that wasn’t crowded by people.

Calum sat the pair down before giving Ashton a few moments to compose himself.

“Are you okay?” he asked again, giving Ashton a look of concern.

Ashton nodded. “Sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“I made you have to leave the party.”

Calum shook his head and laughed. “It’s fine, Ash.”

They stayed silent for a little before Calum spoke. “I’m the one who should be sorry, really.”

“It’s not your fault so please don’t say it is.”

“I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like I should just stop, you know?”

“What do you mean? Stop what?”

“This friendship with you. I have so much crap that comes with being my friend and I’m so scared if we continue with this you’re going to get hurt.”

Ashton turned his body so that he was facing Calum fully. “Don’t ever say that Cal. I admit that at first I hated your guts, but I’m so glad we’re friends right now, you don’t even know. It makes me so happy. I care about you so much that it’s almost scary. Can I tell you something?”

Calum nodded.

“I think I might like you. Like, I think I have a crush on you. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, I get it, but I feel like I should let you know because maybe…maybe we could like work something out? I don’t know, I probably sound so stupid.”

“You like me?” Calum asked, ignoring everything else Ashton had said.

Ashton looked to his feet. “I really, really do.”

Calum stayed silent for a good minute before speaking again.

“I really want to kiss you right now,” Calum whispered. “Can I please kiss you?”

Ashton looked into Calum’s eyes after Calum had revealed his intentions, nodding his head ever so slightly. 

Before he knew it, Calum’s lips were on Ashton’s and the only word to describe it was magical.

It started out as a sweet and simple kiss, Calum brushing his lips on Ashton’s ever so slightly Ashton almost didn’t think it had happened. But then Calum attached his mouth to Ashton’s again, tilting his head to deepen the kiss, bringing a hand to Ashton’s waist and hair. Ashton followed Calum’s actions, wrapping his arm’s around Calum’s waist as the kiss got more intense. 

They kept like this for a good amount of time before Ashton made the daring move of taking the kiss a little further. He swiped his tongue over Calum’s bottom lip, causing Calum to release a small moan and part his lips so Ashton would have access to explore his mouth. Just as the Calum was about to return the favor, the couple was rudely interrupted by a small blonde hair girl running outside and shouting Calum’s name.

Calum groaned, pulling away with Ashton in a painful manner. “Yes?”

“Um, yeah, hi, sorry. It’s just, you’re kind of needed inside.”

“Can’t it wait?”

“Calum, we really need you.”

“I’m a little busy,” Calum mumbled, already getting tired of the girl and going back to attempting at kissing Ashton again.

“It’s Michael, Calum.”

Calum closed his eyes and groaned again, turning his attention back to the blonde. “What about Michael?”

“It’s bad. Really bad. He’s so drunk, Cal. So drunk. Like more than usual. And he keeps saying this stuff about this Luke kid? How he’s a fuck up for letting him go and all this weird random shit. Please just see if you can calm him down. It’s bad. Really bad.”

Calum looked at Ashton in a way to confirm it was okay for him to check on his friend, getting a nod in reply. “I’ll be right back, yeah?”

“Yeah, okay,” Ashton responded.

Calum kissed Ashton quickly on the lips before walking off with the petite girl.

Ashton watched Calum walk off, touching his fingers to his lips delicately once he was sure no one was looking at him.

Had he really just kissed Calum?

He really had, and he couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot.

But for some reason he felt uneasy, like there was a weight sitting in the pit of his stomach.

The girl had seemed really, really worried.

Something really bad had obviously happened, and it involved Michael.

But what was it?


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS REALLY SHORT BUT A LOT HAPPENS SO PLEASE DON'T HATE ME (and pleAse please comment) <3

Michael was so drunk that functioning was out of the question.

Calum had tried multiple times to get him to calm down, but that didn’t seem like a possible thing to accomplish.

He was out of control. He had tried to swing from the chandelier, strip on top of the tables, and basically tried to hook up with every person in sight. It was a complete mess. 

Calum was still confused, though. Yeah, it was typical for Michael to drink at parties, but not like this.

He had never, ever seen Michael get like this. The boy was so drunk that walking was too hard and talking made him sound deformed. In all honesty, Calum wasn’t quite sure what to do.

“Michael,” Calum stated, grabbing Michael by the shoulders and looking straight into his eyes. “Get a hold of yourself.”

Michael giggled and swayed in Calum’s grasp. “But where would be the fun in that!”

“Maybe you not being drunk off your ass?”

Michael giggled again and freed himself from Calum’s growing grip. “But see, if I drink, I forget.”

“What do you need to forget?” Calum asked, following Michael as he began to stumble around the room.

“These feelings, ya’know? Too much to handle.”

“What kind of feelings?”

Michael tripped over his feet before replying. “Just feelings. I hate feelings. Don’t you?”

Calum and Michael had now made it to the front yard where very few people stood.

“Michael please just tell m-”

“Why’d he do it?”

Calum gave Michael a confused look at his randomness. “Why’d who do what?”

“Why’d he leave, just like that?”

“Who?”

“I just don’t understand why he did that to me. He promised.”

“For fucks sake, Michael, who?”

“He fucking promised!” Michael shouted, ignoring Calum’s question again as he started to cry. It became clear that Michael was an emotional drunk.

“Can you please just tell me who you’re talking about? I could most likely help if you just told me.”

“I’m talking about Jack, Calum. Remember him?”

“Wait, what? Why are you talking about Jack? Michael it’s been over a year. I thought you’d gotten over it, that you were better now. What happened?”

“Are you fucking serious? Do you honestly think I could get over something like that? He killed himself, Calum. And you know what that means? He was in so much pain that the only way he saw out was by ending his life. Which also means I’m a terrible person because I didn’t do anything to help.”

“Michael, it’s not your fault. No one knew he was depressed. Why don’t we just go home? We can get you some water to get you back to normal an-”

“You don’t get it, Calum! I loved him!”

“Yeah, Mike, I loved him too b-”

“Jesus fucking Christ, not like that! I was in love with him, okay? And then he left! He fucking left! Like it was nothing! Do you know how much that killed me? How hard it was to get up every day and live without him there? Do you know what it’s like to love someone so much it feels like your heart is going to burst? And then they just leave? For forever? Without a word? Without something as simple as a goodbye?”

“Michael you need to calm d-”

“No, I won’t fucking ‘calm down’! No one understands!”

“Understands what, Michael?”

“That I love Luke, okay? I don’t know how it happened but it did and now I’m so fucking scared, Calum. I’m so scared. And no one gets it! Everyone just thinks I’m some spoiled teenage boy, but it’s not that! It’s so much more than that!” 

“What does Luke have to do with Jack, though?”

Michael rubbed his hands over his face, tears still falling from his eyes. “What if he leaves too?”

“Michael, that’s not going to happen.”

“But you don’t know that for sure! No one thought Jack would end his life, so how do you know Luke won’t either? I can’t handle losing someone else. I can’t.”

“You can’t just look at the negative side of things, Mike. I know it’s hard to see now, but there are positive things involved in all of this as well. You just have to find them.”

“But-”

“No buts, okay? Stop being so god damn depressing. I know it’s awful what happened to Jack, and I know it still sucks; he was my best friend. But that doesn’t mean you can isolate yourself from the world because of it. Don’t let it ruin your life. Yeah, you can still be upset about it, but don’t let it make the choice of how you feel overall.” 

Michael sniffed and sat down on the grass. “But what am I supposed to do about Luke? He hates my guts and I can’t blame him.”

“I think,” Calum said, sitting down next to Michael and swinging an arm over his shoulders. “That you should try talking about it with him. You could maybe try telling him about Jack. I know you probably don’t want to but it might make things easier.”

“He’s only the second person I’ve ever loved. I don’t know what to do, Calum.”

“I still think you should let him know.”

“But what if he doesn’t listen? What if he hates me even more?”

Calum sighed. “Won’t know until you try.”

-X-

Luke was having a bad night.

First, his mum had told him that she and his dad were leaving for the weekend.

Secondly, he had spilled ice tea all over his math homework.

And thirdly, he had burned his pizza, the only source of dinner he had for the night.

What was he supposed to do now? It’s not like he could drive and it’s not like he could call Ashton and ask him to get him food because a, that would be rude, and b, he was probably still at the stupid party.

As Luke was contemplating whether or not to die of hunger or make a sandwich, he heard a knock on his front door.

Okay, now who on earth would be at his door at midnight? 

Luke walked to the door, silently wishing it wasn’t someone to murder him because he had come to the conclusion he wasn’t ready to die and making a sandwich would be a much better solution than dying of hunger.

Luke opened the door to find his neighbor, Violet, standing before him.

“Um, hello?”

“Hi, Luke,” Violet greeted. “Sorry to bother you so late.”

 

Luke liked Violet. She was around the same age as him and they went to the same school. Luke didn’t have any classes with her, but he was always sure to say hi to her in the hallways.

“It’s okay. So, um, what brings you here?”

“Well,” Violet said, looking over her shoulder and in the direction of her house. “It seems we have a little…situation.”

“How so?” Luke asked.

“Well,” Violet repeated, turning her gaze back onto Luke. “It seems you have a visitor who is slightly confused about where he is and how he got here?”

“Um, pardon?”

“There’s a guy. At my house. And he keeps saying how he needs to see you and talk to you. So I sneaked out back and came here to tell you and make sure he wasn’t out to kill you.”

“Okay,” Luke said, coughing awkwardly. “And what might this guy look like?”

“This is why I came to you instead of bringing him here. He’s a little…strange? Like, his hair is dyed a neon red, his eyebrow is pierced, and I’m pretty sure he’s really, really drunk.”

Luke’s eyes almost popped out of his head. “I’m sorry, did you say red hair? Eyebrow piercing?”

“Yes I did. I’m guessing you know him?”

Luke nodded his head violently. “I do. I’m really sorry he came to your house instead of mine. I’ll, um, go get him.”

Violet nodded her head. “Yeah, I think that might be a good idea.”

He wasn’t really a 100% sure why, but Luke found himself practically sprinting to Violet’s house.

As soon as Luke saw the lanky boy stumbling across Violet’s yard and mumbling muffled ‘Luke’s’, he knew for sure it was Michael. 

“Michael?” Luke whispered, voice too quiet for Michael to hear.

“Michael?” Luke repeated, voice louder.

Michael’s head snapped in the direction of Luke. “Luke?”

“Uh hey,” Luke said, awkwardly waving. “Not to sound rude or anything, but what are you doing?”

“Luke!” Michael repeated, running as fast as a drunk person could so that he could reach Luke. “I have to tell you something!”

Luke found Michael reaching him much faster than he thought, so he met Michael half way and stopped him by lightly grabbing his elbows. 

“It’s really important,” Michael said, nodding his head. “Like, so important!”

Luke chuckled. “And what’s that?”

“Well, I wanted you to k- wait, why aren’t you yelling at me?”

“What?”

“You’re supposed to hate me.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Michael said, voice over excited. “I was a dick to you.”

Luke shrugged his shoulders, still holding Michael like he was a rare jewel. “Yeah, but I’m not one to hold grudges.”

Michael nodded, looking at the ground and then back at Luke.

Luke’s eyes were really blue, like, Michael wanted to dive inside and swim in them because they reminded him of water at a Hawaiian beach.

“I have something to tell you!”

Luke laughed again. “So I’ve heard.”

“Luke.”

“Michael.”

“I like you.”

“I like you too.”

“No, like, I like you,” Michael repeated, as if what he was trying to say was obvious.

“Okay, and I’m saying I like you too.”

“No, ugh!” Michael shouted, grabbing his hair with his fists and pulling.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Luke soothed, grabbing Michael’s hands and pulling them into his own. “Michael, just tell me what you’re trying to say instead of freaking out.”

Michael giggled, mood drastically changing, and mumbled something.

“Sorry, what?” Luke asked, unable to understand what Michael was trying to say.

Michael giggled again and grabbed Luke by the shoulders.

“Luke.”

“Yes?”

Michael bit his lip before speaking the simple words with so much meaning. Words that would do nothing but screw everything up.

He didn’t really care at the moment, though, so that’s why he finally decided to say them.

“I think I might love you.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING* this is really cheesy :3 but please comment!! it always makes me happy (:

It had been two weeks since Michael declared his love for Luke.

And it had been two weeks since Luke had spoken a word to Michael. 

Things between Ashton and Calum were great, but obviously things between Luke and Michael were terrible. 

Michael was heartbroken to say the least, and Luke was just plain confused.

Michael loved him? Was it just another one of his little games, or was he telling the truth? Would he say it again if he was sober, or was it something he was okay saying only when he was drunk? And the biggest question that ran through his head, was did he love Michael back?

He didn’t think so.

Yes, he liked Michael. He really, really liked Michael, but he didn’t think he loved him. Love was such an intense and big thing, so Luke wanted to be sure about his feelings before he talked to Michael.

He didn’t mean to be an asshole by basically ignoring Michael, but he didn’t know what else to do. How were you supposed to talk to someone who was in love with you if you didn’t know if you loved them back?

Luke didn’t think he was in love with Michael for multiple reasons. First, he barely knew anything about the boy except that his name was Michael Clifford. Secondly, how could he be in love with someone who beat him up and didn’t back him up when he needed him most?

Again; Luke really, really liked Michael. 

But he didn’t think it was love.

-X-

Ashton felt great.

Things between him and Calum were wonderful. They had been on two more dates since the party, and they both had been the best.

Yeah, both Calum and Ashton felt bad about the situation between their best friends, but they felt so high and mighty at the moment that that was only a minor concern. 

Today was Tuesday, which was also Ashton’s favorite day.

He wasn’t 100% sure why it was his favorite day, but it was; and something about today gave Ashton a good feeling. Again, he wasn’t sure why, but that didn’t stop him from having a positive outlook for the day. He was happy.

He was also early to his math class, but he didn’t really mind because it gave him time to think.

Things were good. Things were really good.

Ashton still was in slight disbelief that he used to hate Calum’s guts, but now he really, really liked him. He liked him so much that he was surprised his heart hadn’t bursted yet.

The door to the classroom opening is what cut Ashton’s thoughts short. He looked in the direction of the door and couldn’t stop the huge grin that formed on his face when he saw who it was.

Calum. 

“Yo,” Calum greeted, taking his seat next to Ashton.

“Yo?” Ashton giggled. “Since when do you say yo?”

Calum shrugged his shoulders and joined Ashton’s laughter. “It sounded cooler in my head.”

Once the two boys had controlled their amusement, Ashton spoke again. “So how are you on this fine day?”

“Fine day? It’s Tuesday, Ash, which means the week isn’t even half way over yet.”

“Tuesdays happen to be my favorite day.”

“Weirdo,” Calum said, giving Ashton a ‘look’.

Ashton giggled again. It seemed that Calum just had that effect on him.

“So,” Calum continued. “Not to put a damper on the mood or anything, but I feel like we should talk about Luke and Michael. Michael is, like, really depressed.”

Ashton nodded and glanced at the door again as it opened and someone else walked in. “Yeah, Luke isn’t necessarily depressed, but he’s definitely…off.”

“I feel kind of guilty, if I’m being honest.”

“Why do you feel guilty?”

“I kind of was the one that told Michael he should tell Luke how he feels.”

Ashton nodded his head, thinking. “Honestly, I’m still beyond pissed at Michael, but I feel like him saying his feelings just clears things up. It was good in a way that he put it out there, but I don’t think Luke really believes him.”

“Why not?”

“Well, I mean, he joined the whole footy team in beating him up and he did give him a black eye, so Michael has been giving him mixed signals. And Michael was really drunk when he told him, so I think he feels like one of the reasons Michael said it was because of that and that he wouldn’t have said so if he was sober.”

“What if Michael told him again? Like, while sober?”

Ashton scrunched his nose. “I don’t think that would be the best idea. I think what Luke needs right now is some space from Michael. He’ll talk to him when he’s ready.”

“What if he’s not ready for a while?” Calum asked.

“Then we’ll just have to give him time.”

-X-

It was already lunch time and Ashton was sitting by himself. Again.

Luke had said he needed to meet with a teacher, and Ashton would have believed him if they weren’t dealing with a certain situation.

It was obvious Luke was avoiding lunch because it was the period he was most likely going to run into Michael or a football player, so he didn’t go.

Yeah, Ashton can understand why Luke would do so, but sitting by yourself every lunch for three weeks (don’t forget – Luke was gone a week prior to the ‘incident’) was getting kind of lame and old.

And yeah, Ashton knew he basically had no friends, but letting the whole school know that as well made him feel like an even bigger loser. It’s just, there wasn’t really anywhere else he could sit without getting weird stares or death glares, so he honestly didn’t have any other option than to sit by himself at a table in the back. Or so he thought.

He was kind of hopeful in a way, just like he had been on the last couple of Tuesdays. He had hoped that because it was his favorite day, maybe someone would make a move and sit with him. 

Today, for some unknown reason, his hopefulness had worked.

Just as he was about to give up on this whole lunch thing, someone sat down at his table.

Someone who looked a lot like Calum Hood.

“Howdy, partner,” Calum greeted, taking a seat next to Ashton and setting down his tray.

“Your greetings just keep getting better and better,” Ashton chuckled, trying to keep the excitement in his voice at a minimum. 

“I’ve been practicing,” Calum smiled. “Wanna hear a joke?”

That was a bit random, but Ashton nodded his head anyways because he was this was Calum were talking about and he would do almost anything for him.

“Why are there no gamblers in Africa?”

“I don’t know, why?”

“There’s too many cheetahs.”

He wasn’t sure why, but Ashton found himself bursting into laughter. It was one of those jokes that it was so bad it was good, hence Ashton’s cackling and the multiple stares coming his way. 

Ashton’s laughter caused Calum to laugh just as hard (his laugh had that effect on everyone) and the two found themselves in a hysteric of laughs that tears had formed in the corners of the eyes.

To say the least, it felt good. Really good and both of them really needed it, even if they didn’t say it out loud. So, good; it was good.

-X-

Friday came quickly and chaos was still happening between Michael and Luke. 

Calum and Ashton were still great; so great that they had yet another date tonight along with what Calum had called a ‘big surprise’ and secret. Ashton had asked him multiple times just to tell him, that it’s not a big deal, but Calum would simply reply with yes, it was a big deal and part of the fun was that it was a secret.

So Ashton played along, just because he was that whipped for the boy.

Clothes. Ashton was having a hard time picking what clothes to wear. It was still fairly warm, so that narrowed his choices down a bit.

Calum was picking Ashton up at 6, which meant Ashton still had an hour to get ready.

Finally, after taking a shower to think (this was a big deal, okay?), Ashton decided to wear his Nirvana shirt with the small holes, black jeans, and black Vans. He decided he didn’t want to wear a bandana this time because his hair was actually corroborating for once. 

After putting on his clothes (and realizing his shirt was slightly tighter than before, oh god) Ashton realized Calum would be there any minute, so he made his way downstairs.

He only had to wait a few minutes before receiving a text from Calum that he was outside. With a shout goodbye to his mum and siblings, Ashton found himself in Calum’s big black car.

“Hi,” Ashton greeted, buckling his seatbelt.

Something seemed off. A couple of minutes had already gone by; wait, had Calum greeted him? Or even acknowledged him? He doesn’t remember him doing so. Looking over at the black haired boy, Ashton found Calum looking slightly uncomfortable; eyes wide, back straight, gulping too many times. Weird.

“You alright?” Ashton asked, still looking in Calum’s direction.

Calum quickly looked at Ashton then back at the road, nodding his head a little too quickly. “Yup. Fine. Just fine.”

“Are you sure?”

Calum looked quickly at Ashton and back to the road again. “Yeah. It’s just- never mind.”

“No, what is it? I don’t want things to be awkward.” 

“I’ll probably just make things more awkward.”

Ashton groaned. “Are you seriously thinking about something sexual? Really?”

Calum groaned too. “It’s not my fault! It’s yours!”

“My fault?” Ashton laughed. “And how is it my fault?”

“Ashton. Shirt. Your shirt. It’s really tight and you look really good in it and it’s just not a good mix for a horny teenage boy.”

Ashton giggled again. “You’re always so entertaining.”

“I’m entertaining? Have you seen yourself? You’re like hotter than a stripper.”

“You have a way with words.”

“Oh shut up. Just close your eyes, alright?”

“What? Why?”

“Part of the surprise.”

Ashton rolled his eyes. “You’re strange.”

He closed his eyes anyways.

-X-

“Are we almost there?” Ashton asked, eyes still closed as Calum lead him around by holding his hand.

“Almost,” Calum replied, squeezing Ashton’s hand. “Okay, just, like, a heads up, what’s about to happen is really cheesy.”

“I like cheesy.”

“I like you.”

Ashton giggled (he did that a lot). “Whatever.”

They continued walking for a couple more minutes before Calum came to a stop. “Okay. Open.”

Ashton’s eyes sprung open, scrunching up slightly from the sudden brightness. When his eyes finally adjusted, he couldn’t help himself when his mouth fell slightly open. 

They were surrounded by trees that went so high the tippy top seemed like it touched the clouds. They stood on a large area of grass where there was no trees that formed a sloppy circle. Scattered in random spots among the grass were flowers of blues and purples and pinks and it was just really beautiful.

 

The best part is what sat in front of the pair in the middle of the circle. There was a big orange blanket splayed out accompanied with a big picnic basket. 

“You did this?”

“Yeah,” Calum replied, voice quiet to the point Ashton got a shy aura from him. 

“Calum this is amazing. It’s like in the movies, oh my gosh,” Ashton said, turning to look back at Calum as he spoke the last words.

“Not too cheesy?” Calum asked, and was he; was he blushing?

“Just the right amount,” Ashton replied, kissing Calum’s lips quickly, shortly, and sweetly (kissing had become a regular thing for them; and it was really, really great).

“I hope you don’t expect gourmet food, all I did was make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. There’s cubed fruit, but that’s only because I bought it like that.”

Ashton nodded his head and sat down, Calum repeating his actions. 

Calum opened the basket and starting pulling little odds and ends out of it.

“Calum?”

“Yeah?” Calum asked, placing the last of the baskets contents on the blanket.

“Are those juice boxes? With bendy straws?”

Calum looked at Ashton with wide eyes. “Yeah… Is that bad?”

Ashton shook his head and laughed. “Makes everything just that much better.”

-X-

“You’re lying! There’s no way that’s the truth!” Ashton shouted, practically howling with laughter. 

“I swear to god,” Calum gasped, out of breath from laughing so hard. 

“And he, like, didn’t know it was you?”

“Why would he? I’m pretty sure he thought it was a crazy ex, not the brother of the girl he was cheating on.”

“So you slit his tires, keyed his car, smashed his windows, and signed it with a note that read ‘fuck yourself’, just because he kissed someone who wasn’t your sister?”

“Hey, I’m protective over the people I love.”

“Yeah, protective is one way to put it,” Ashton giggled, holding his stomach that had started to cramp.

“So,” Calum spoke after they had calmed down, setting his now finished juice box after taking the last sip on the blanket. “Speaking of ex’s and boyfriends and girlfriends, I have a question.”

“Okay…” Ashton replied warily, dabbing a napkin over his mouth.

“There’s kind of a reason why I did all of this,” Calum explained.

“Okay, and why is that?”

“Well, we’ve been dating a while now and I’m being honest when I say I really, really like you. I’m gonna try not to make some really long and sappy speech, so instead I’ll just sat I have a question.”

“And what would that question be?”

Calum took a deep breath before speaking quickly out of nerves. “Willyoupleasebemyboyfriend?”

Ashton didn’t understand. “Pardon?”

Calum took another breath (still nervous) and talked slower. “Will you please by my boyfriend? Like, can we make what we’re doing official?”

Ashton thought for a moment, trying to hide the fact that he was screaming inside with excitement because oh my gosh Calum just asked to make things official which meant he actually liked him. Calum actually liked Ashton.

“Yeah,” Ashton nodded, finally answering Calum’s question after seeing his smile get smaller with doubt. “I’d really love that.”

And with that, Ashton found himself being tackled in a hug by an overexcited Calum.

He didn’t mind though, because honestly, he felt the exact same way.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i'm back (: this is really bad and short and contains smut, but i promise next chapter(s) will be waaaay better. please please please comment? i miss talking to you guys ): enjoy!!

It was a week after Calum and Ashton had made things official, and things were good. 

Today was also game day, so Calum was already pumped on adrenaline. 

“Are you coming to the game?” Calum asked, arm slung around Ashton’s shoulders as they ate lunch.

Ashton nodded. “Course. I can’t wait to see you in your little shorts.”

“That’s the only reason you’re coming, isn’t it?”

“You caught me.”

Calum laughed out loud and took a bite of his carrot.

“Plus,” Ashton continued, trying not to stare at Calum’s mouth. “I have your jersey now so of course I have to show my support.”

Calum dropped his carrot and stared at Ashton with wide eyes. “You did what?”

“Bought your jersey… Is that a bad thing?”

“Fuck no,” Calum said, still staring at Ashton. “Oh my god you’re gonna look so hot.”

Ashton blushed. “Shut up, Cal.”

“Like, we’re probably gonna lose the game now cause I’m gonna get a fucking boner seeing you and lose focus.”

Ashton covered his face with his hands at his boyfriend’s lack of a filter. “Why am I dating you?”

“Simple,” Calum replied. “You’ve seen me get boner’s before and know my dicks as big as shit.”

Ashton squealed and hit Calum in the arm.

Calum just kissed his head in response.

-X-

“You can’t keep fucking ignoring me like nothing happened,” was the first thing Michael said to Luke in three weeks.

Luke just pushed past Michael and continued to walk down the hallway.

“Luke!” Michael called, frustration clear in his voice as he grabbed Luke’s lanky arm. “Can you please just talk to me?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Aw bullshit! There’s plenty to talk about!”

“No there’s not.”

“Stop being a fucking coward, Luke. I told you I loved you. There’s more than enough to talk about.”

Luke looked around as the words left Michael’s mouth to make sure no one heard him. Luckily Luke found them alone in the hallway.

“Yes, you did. You were drunk. It was a mistake. Can I go now?”

“It wasn’t a mistake Luke.”

“But how can you love me!” Luke shouted, throwing his arms in the air. “You don’t even know me!”

“Luke, just listen. Can you let me talk? I can explain things an-”

“I’m tired of you playing me, alright? I have to go Michael,” Luke stated, voice suddenly calm as he ripped his arm out of Michael’s grasp.

“Luke c’mon-”

“Bye Michael,” Luke whispered, walking past Michael so that he wouldn’t start crying and make a fool of himself. 

Why did this have to happen to Luke?

Why did things have to be so fucked up?

He didn’t ask for any of this, and he certainly didn’t want any of this.

And he definitely, definitely didn’t mean to love Michael back. 

-X-

Ashton sat on the bleachers at the game, a large popcorn in one hand and a large soda in the other. He was clad in Calum’s jersey, black skinny jeans, black converse, and a navy blue bandanna. 

Calum hadn’t seen Ashton yet, but Ashton had seen Calum (considering he had made sure to get a seat front row).

Calum was wearing the tight black jersey, short black shorts, black socks, and his black cleats. 

Let’s just say; Calum looked really fucking good in black. And intense, but mostly hot. 

In all honesty, Ashton felt kind of lonely because he was at the game by himself. He would’ve asked Luke to come along, but things were still tense between him and Michael (which was honestly getting annoying because it had been three fucking weeks) so he assumed he wouldn’t have wanted to come.

Calum was on the field with his other team mates, warming up by practicing shooting goals. 

Everything seemed to be going fine before someone on the team came up to Calum and whispered something in his ear. Calum’s face screwed up in something that read anger, and he ended up pushing the other boy. Calum began shouting at the boy who had fallen on the ground, and Michael had to come in between things and pull Calum away.

Okay… That was really, really odd, and Ashton had no idea what had happened.

Yeah, Calum had a temper, but it never got bad unless he was truly provoked.

So what had happened? Now was not the time to make Calum mad. That would result in him probably playing poorly, and even Ashton knew that wouldn’t be good because this game was important. They were playing their enemy school and winning was important.

Ashton just hoped Calum would bring himself together.

-X-

It was half time and things weren’t going well. Calum was definitely off and it was showing. He lacked his normal fluidity, he messed up simple tasks, and he had yet to score a goal. The current score was 4-0 with the other team winning. 

Yeah, Calum was allowed to have an off day, but after Ashton saw him blow up, he knew it wasn’t that. Ashton was almost kind of mad because that kid messed Calum up and obviously upset him. Ashton might not be much, but he wasn’t a big fan of people picking on his boyfriend.

Maybe things would get better.

-X-

The game was over with the final score being 5-0. 

Ashton didn’t really care about the score at this point; all he really cared about was finding Calum and figuring out what happened. 

Ashton was quick to leave the bleachers and find his boyfriend which turned out to be a difficult task. Hundreds of people had showed up to the game, so finding one person out of all them was close to impossible. As Ashton was about to give up and just wait for Calum in the car, someone grabbed onto his arm.

Someone who turned out to be Calum.

“Oh, hey babe,” Ashton greeted, getting no response from Calum as the younger boy continued to drag him along. 

Ashton figured it’d be best just to let Calum take him wherever he wanted to go. Yeah, Calum was obviously mad, but Ashton wasn’t afraid. He never had been, so there was no reason to start now.

Eventually, Calum and Ashton ended up in the locker room that was currently empty. 

“Do you want to talk about what happened? I saw some guy talk to you,” Ashton said, Calum not responding again, back still to Ashton as he ran his fingers through his sweaty hair.

“Cal, c’mon what’s u-” Ashton started, but was cut off quickly.

Calum spun around from his spot, smashing his lips to Ashton and pinning him to a wall. 

“Looked so fucking hot,” Calum muttered, starting to kiss down Ashton’s neck. “Wearing my jersey and acting all innocent.”

Ashton bit his lip to hold back moans as Calum nibbled on his neck.

“Don’t even care that we lost,” Calum continued, licking over the spot where a bruise would surely form. “Just care about my hot fucking boyfriend.”

Calum brought his mouth back to Ashton’s, one hand in his curly hair and the other on his waist. He swiped his tongue along Ashton’s bottom lip, causing Ashton to let out a moan and Calum’s lower area to twitch.

“I want to do something for you, yeah?” Calum asked, resting his forehead on Ashton’s. “Make you feel good.”

Ashton nodded eagerly, kissing Calum again and exploring his mouth with his tongue. Calum pecked Ashton’s lips one more time before dropping on his knees.

Calum was quick to unzip Ashton’s jeans, pulling down his boxers as he pulled down his pants.

“Fuck,” Calum breathed once Ashton’s cock was in full view.

Calum was eager to start, so he wrapped his hand around Ashton’s member, starting slow with licking the tip. 

Ashton hissed and fisted Calum’s hair in his hands.

Calum took more of Ashton in, licking the underside and moving his hand on the parts that he missed. Once Calum thought Ashton had enough of the teasing, he took Ashton’s whole dick in his mouth and started bobbing his head.

Ashton couldn’t help the moans that left his mouth as he screwed his eyes shut. 

“Cal I’m close,” Ashton groaned (slightly embarrassed that he had almost reached his high so quickly), fist clenching tighter in Calum’s hair.

Calum started bobbing his head and moving his hand faster, and seconds later, Ashton came in his mouth. 

Calum stood up and kissed Ashton, lips sweet with the taste of Ashton’s cum. 

“How about we go back to my place and you return the favor?” Calum asked, helping Ashton pull up his pants.

Ashton nodded his head and kissed Calum again. “It would be my pleasure.”


	15. question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ AND ANSWER

does anyone even know about this story anymore? would you guys want me to update it?


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO this is really short and that's probs how it'll be but that'll hopefully mean more updates!!  
> OH AND I WANNA GET TO KNOW YOU GUYS?? SO LIKE HI I'M CHARLOTTE BUT YOU CAN CALL ME CHAR AND I'M 15 (16 May 9th woot woot) AND I LOVE MANATEES AND CASHTON WASSUP  
> (comment and tell me what you think pls i'm v sorry this is so bad i promise they'll get better it's just been a long time since i've written okay lots of hugs and kisses)

Ashton sat in his math class the following Monday after Calum had given him a blow job (aka one of the best days of his life).

Class would begin in roughly 5 minutes, so Ashton decided he could just relax until the it started. Calum wasn’t in his usual seat next to him, so he currently didn’t have any distractions.

While Ashton was staring out the window at the squirrels on the tree (which he was almost positive were doing the dirty), someone sat next to him.

But it was on his right, so that meant it wasn’t Calum.

Ashton turned his head to face the person beside him, and was faced with a petite boy with girlish features and bright brown eyes. 

“Hi, I’m Ashton,” Ashton greeted, deciding it would be best to introduce himself considering how scared the boy looked. 

“Uh, hi, I’m Elliott,” the boy responded, voice quiet and high pitched. 

“Are you new here?”

“Yeah, um, I was transferred,” Elliott explained, not quite meeting Ashton’s eyes. 

“Oh, cool. Well if you need anyth-” Ashton started, but was cut off by Ms. Cindy starting class. Ashton gave Elliott an apologetic look before turning to the front of the room. 

“Luke Hemmings?” Ms. Cindy called, taking attendance like she always did. 

“Here!” Luke replied. 

“Calum Hood?”

“Here,” someone said beside Ashton. 

And that someone was Calum, which was weird because Ashton didn’t remember him coming in. 

“Hey, babe,” Ashton whispered to him, but for some reason, Calum didn’t respond.

Maybe he just didn’t hear him.

Ms. Cindy continued down the line until reaching a name Ashton wasn’t familiar with.

“Ashley Jacobs?”

There was a pause until a familiar voice spoke.

“Um, it’s Elliott.”

Ms. Cindy looked up from the clipboard in her hands seeming distraught until her eyes landed on the source of the voice and her features softened. “Oh dear, sorry about that, Elliott.” 

Elliott just nodded before shrinking back in his seat.

Ashton was confused. Why would Ms. Cindy call Elliott Ashley? That was nowhere near close to being the correct name.

But before Ashton could say something, Ms. Cindy dove into the lesson, so Ashton just decided to shrug the situation off. 

It wasn’t any of his business, anyways.

-X-

“Why were you talking to that freak?” is what Calum greets Ashton with at lunch.

“Pardon?”

“I said,” Calum seethes, “why were you talking to that freak? Do you like him or something?”

“I don’t know who you’re talking about? And last time I checked, I’m dating you?” Ashton questioned, confused by Calum’s coldness.

“I’m talking about Elliott or whatever the fuck it’s name is.”

“Why are you being so rude, Calum? What’s your problem?”

“You don’t know, do you?” Calum said, laughing humorlessly.

“Can you please just get to the fucking point?”

“It’s transgender, Ashton. Meaning ‘he’ is not a ‘he’, but a she.”

Honestly? Ashton was already having a bad day because of Calum ignoring him, and the fact that when he finally talks to him again it’s something so horrible, it kind of sets Ashton off.

“Excuse me?”

“Elliott is a girl! Not a boy! So why would you flirt with her!”

Ashton stood up abruptly, sending his chair backwards as he stomped over to Calum. “What the fuck is your problem right now? So what if Elliott is transgender! He’s a boy, Calum, and it’s a dick move not to be accepting. Also, flirting? Really? You honestly think I was flirting?”

“All I’m saying is that it’s a freak, Ashton, she was born a girl so she’s a girl.”

Ashton’s eyes narrowed to slits as he moved his face so close to Calum’s that Calum could feel the air from his nostrils. “I thought you changed, Calum. You’re acting like you’re old self right now and it’s really pissing me off.”

“My old self? I’m still the same person! Stop acting like I’m suddenly a new man!”

“Man? Really? You think you’re a man? Then show it. Grow a pair and grow the fuck up,” Ashton spat, turning around and leaving the lunchroom, ignoring the hundreds of eyes watching him leave. 

Ashton was seeing red. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this mad before. Ever.

But before Ashton could calm himself down, Calum came barreling after him.

“Ashton, just wait a second, alright? Just answer my question.”

Ashton stopped in his tracks but didn’t turn around to face Calum. “What.”

“Why were you flirting with it?”

“If you call him it one more time, I will hit you. I was not flirting with him, Calum!”

“Yes you were!”

“How the fuck is making someone feel welcomed flirting!”

“You looked at him like you look at me, Ashton!”

Ashton spun around on his heel this time so that he was facing Calum finally. “What? With love?”

“Love? What are y-”

“News flash, Calum! I love you! But now I’m starting to question it because I’m not so sure I want to love someone who can’t accept the simple fact that someone is a boy.”

“Ash, just wait a se-”

But Ashton was already out of sight.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cute (((((short)))) chapter before the next one cause sHIT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN ARE YOU READY

It was 3:42 AM and Ashton would’ve been asleep like any other normal person if it wasn’t for his phone going off. For some unknown reason he hadn’t turned his volume down, so his phone was currently blaring Ashton’s recent favorite Spice Girls song.

Ashton picked up his phone (still half asleep), his voice coming out groggy.

“Uh, hello?”

“Did you know that 46% of transgender men and 42% of transgender women kill themselves?”

“What?”

“That means 4/5 of suicides are by transgendered people.”

“Calum?”

“That’s too many, Ash. That’s way too many.”

Ashton was confused. “Why are you calling me at almost 4 in the morning to tell me this?”

“Because I fucked up so badly.”

Ashton stayed silent.

“I didn’t…I didn’t mean to be an asshole,” Calum continued. “I just didn’t really understand it, okay? I didn’t get that someone could be unhappy with their gender and I didn’t understand that body parts don’t necessarily determine gender. I didn’t get that switching genders was an option, or that it even existed. I didn’t know anything. But I’ve been up all night doing research, Ashy, and oh god, I’m so sorry; I’m so, so sorry. I just, I didn’t get it, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, fuck I-” 

“Baby, it’s okay,” Ashton interrupted. “It’s not okay how you acted, but it’s okay that you weren’t totally accepting at first because you didn’t get it. It’s okay.”

Ashton thought he heard a sniffle before Calum continued.

“Elliott is a boy, and I know that now. I want to tell him sorry, do you think I can? Is it too late?”

“He wasn’t even there Cal, I don’t think you need to.”

“Yes, I do. Even if he wasn’t there I want him to know I’m sorry for being a judgmental prick and that I’ve changed. I swear I have, so please don’t hate me. Please don’t hate me for my mistakes.”

“I could never,” Ashton sighed. 

There was a brief pause before Calum said something again.

“Did you mean it?”

Ashton was confused again. “Uh, mean what?”

“That you love me?”

Another pause.

“Yeah,” Ashton whispered finally, suddenly not as tired as he first was.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah,” Ashton repeated, voice still quiet.

“I love you. I love you so fucking much, Ashton.”

Ashton took in a sharp breathe, letting the words sink in.

He loved Calum…and Calum loved him back. 

“Ashy?”

“Yes, Cal?”

“Can I come over?”

“Yeah.”

-X-

“I love you,” Calum mumbled from his position snuggled up into Ashton’s chest.

Ashton tightened his arms around the younger boy. “I love you, Calum.”

“Say it again,” Calum whispered, closing his eyes and kissing Ashton’s neck, causing shivers to run down the other boy’s spine.

“I love you, Calum. No matter what you do, no matter what you are, no matter what happens, I love you.”

“Promise?”

“All my heart is devoted to you.”

Calum sighed contently. “Can I promise you something?”

Ashton nodded.

“I promise to take care of it, as long as you take care of mine.”

“I promise.”

They ended up falling asleep in each other’s arms.

And it was so cute that Anne, Ashton’s mum, wasn’t even mad to find them. 

She was happy.

Everyone was happy.

At least, for now.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls don't hate me anD PLS PLS PLS COMMENT PLS (okay love you my cute bubbies xoxox)

“Did you and Calum, like, fuck or something?” was the first thing that Luke said to Ashton the following afternoon.

“Uh, no, why?”

“You guys seem to be glowing and your eyes have turned into huge hearts. I just assumed.”

Ashton smiled. “We didn’t fuck, but we said I love you.”

“Aw!” Luke cooed, throwing an arm around Ashton’s shoulders. “My little Ashy is in love!”

Ashton shoved Luke’s arm off as they walked into the cafeteria. “Don’t call me that.”

“Why?”

Ashton stayed silent as the boys scoped out a spot to sit, cheeks turning a cherry. 

“Is that what Calum calls you?” Luke smirked.

“Shove off,” Ashton grumbled, plopping himself in a seat and pulling out his lunch.

Luke and Ashton were the first to the cafeteria, so Michael and Calum had yet to arrive.

“How are things with Michael by the way?” Ashton asked before shoving a handful of muffin in his mouth.

Luke shrugged like it was nothing, but Ashton caught the smile tugging at his lips. “Good.”

“You’ve worked things out, then?”

Luke giggled. “I guess you could say that.”

“Oh god,” Ashton groaned. “No details please.”

“What can I say; the boys good with his mouth.”

“Who’s good with their mouth?” someone interrupted, causing Ashton and Luke to snap their heads in the direction of the voice. 

“Luke is giving me details about his relationship with your friend.”

“It’s not a relationship!” Luke protested.

“Hi baby,” Ashton purred, ignoring Luke and opening his arms for Calum to climb into.

Calum giggled and placed himself in Ashton’s lap. “Hi Ashy.”

“I love you,” Ashton whispered, nipping at Calum’s ear before attempting to hide his grin in his boyfriend’s neck. 

“I love you too,” Calum replied with an equally big smile before pecking Ashton on the lips.

“I’m gonna be sick,” Luke groaned, making gagging sounds. 

“What have you guys done to my poor Lukey?”

Ashton rested his head on Calum’s shoulder. “Hey, Michael.”

Michael waved in response before sitting next to Luke, who, mind you, had become a blushing mess in his seat.

“How’s everyone’s day been so far?” Michael asked, linking his fingers not-so-subtly with Luke’s under the table.

Ashton was ready to answer before he noticed something; or someone.

Sitting in the back of the cafeteria by himself was Elliott. Ashton’s heart broke a little, remembering the days when that was him. He was going to do something.

“I’ll be right back,” Ashton whispered to Calum as Luke started to answer Mikey’s question. 

Calum nodded and got up, allowing Ashton to move from his seat.

“Hey,” Ashton greeted once he reached Elliott.

The poor boy looked scared out of his mind when Ashton spoke, and when he responded, his voice came out in a squeak, “hi.” 

“You wanna sit with me and my friends?” Ashton asked, jabbing a finger behind him and in the direction of where he previously was.

“I don’t want to be a bothe-”

“Come on, I’ll take your bag,” Ashton insisted, easily swinging the younger boys backpack over his shoulder, waiting for him to get up and follow him.

“Um, o-okay,” Elliott stuttered, finally getting up, slowly but surely following behind Ashton.

Once they reached the table, Ashton’s friends looked up at him with a strange look (except Calum of course, who obviously still felt bad about yesterdays events).

“This is my friend, Elliott. He’s new here, so I said he could sit with us,” Ashton explained, a signature smile on his face. 

“Hey! I’m Michael!” Michael greeted cheerfully, smiling a toothy grin. Elliott waved in response.

Luke nodded his head. “M’ Luke.”

Elliott gave a small smile.

“Calum,” Calum said, crinkles at his eyes from how big his smile was.

Elliott muttered a ‘hi’ before scurrying to an empty seat.

Ashton sat back down, Elliott’s bag falling to the floor, and Calum quickly placed himself back in his lap. Ashton didn’t mind of course, as long as Calum didn’t, you know, move around too much.

“So,” Michael spoke after a pause in conversation. “There’s a party Friday night at my mate John’s.”

“Hell no,” Calum said at the same time Ashton spat, “mate?”

“You mean the guy that beat me up?” Luke added, giving Michael a look of disgust.

“Guys, he’s not that bad. You just got off on the wrong foot-”

“Ya, in my stomach.”

“-plus you won’t even see him cause it’s gonna be huge. It’s just at his house, that’s all the associating you’ll have to do.”

“Will there be free alcohol?” Calum asked. 

Ashton scoffed.

“Of course,” Michael responded.

“I mean, it can’t be that bad, babe,” Calum shrugged, looking at Ashton. “We probably won’t even see John. And there’s free alcohol.”

Ashton pouted. “I don’t like him.”

“I’ll keep you safe, Ashy.”

“Fine, I’ll go,” Ashton giggled, not being able to say no to his boyfriend. 

“Do you want to come, Elliott?” Ashton continued, directing his attention to the boy.

“I’ve never been to a party, I don’t know.”

“You won’t regret it,” Michael added. 

Elliott shrugged. “I’ll see.”

“Luke?” Michael asked, looking at his boyfriend (or whatever he was, because, honestly, no one really knew).

Luke never really was one to lead, he always found himself being a follower. 

So, that’s how he found himself agreeing to the boy with the (now white) crazy hair.

“Sure.”

-X-

It was Friday and Michael was right; the party was huge.

Too much to Luke’s liking, if he was being honest. 

Shortly after entering, Ashton and Calum broke off from the group, stating they needed some alcohol and they needed some now. 

Once they had left, it was just Luke, Michael, and surprisingly, Elliott. 

But Luke spoke too soon, because shortly after Ashton and Calum had left, Elliott was off to God knows where. Luke assumed to do drugs, he looked like a druggie. Kind of. Not really.

“I’ll get us some drinks, okay? I’ll be right back,” Michael said, kissing Luke’s temple before he, too, disappeared in the crowd. 

Great, now Luke was all alone somewhere he did not want to be, being his awkward self and just standing there.

The house was pretty full, so Luke assumed Michael would be a bit, therefore he decided it would be a good time to go to the bathroom. 

Figures he’d forget to go before coming to a fucking party.

Stupid fucking parties.

There wasn’t many rooms on the lower level where Luke was right now, so he found his way to the stairs and pushed his way up to where he hoped he would find a bathroom. It would’ve been mortifying if Luke wet himself. 

Luke was being very cautious with choosing the rooms he wanted to test to see if it was the bathroom; he really didn’t want to walk in on horny teenagers hooking up.

Just as Luke spotted the bathroom from across the hall, Luke’s thoughts were interrupted. 

“Fuck, baby, you’re so good with your mouth,” someone moaned from behind the door to his left. 

Luke froze.

That voice sounded a lot like Michael.

But, it couldn’t be, right? It must’ve just been those stupid horny teenagers he was worried about finding. Michael had gone to get them drinks…right?

Just as Luke was about to shrug it off (with a shudder because, ew, straight people sex) and find somewhere else to relieve himself, he heard a moan. 

A moan that he knew belonged to Michael.

So, yeah, Luke was pissed. Things were going so great, and now Michael was doing this? Really?

His hands moved to open the door, his anger encouraging his actions as the object swung open.

Luke wanted to cry when he saw what was before him.

Michael was spread on the bed, boxers and pants at his ankles, head thrown back, and someone’s head between his legs.

Along with being upset, this also surprised Luke as he thought the pair on the bed would only be making out, but what surprised him most was the person who belonged to the head between his Michael’s legs.

“Elliott?”


	19. side note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> please read (you don't have to) (but it'd be nice) (and it'd be dandy if you commented) (<3)

GUYS i'm sorry for not updating in awhile, i promise i will soon. my 16th birthday is this saturday and i'm spending the weekend in nyc, so i can't update until hopefully next week!! how are you guys? hows life? hope your all well love you LOTS mwah


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **SUPER SUPER SUPER** SHORT UPDATE IM SORRY BUT I SWEAR ON LUKE HEMMINGS HAIR I WILL MAKE THE NEXT ONE LONGER AND SUPER CUTE. thank you for all the birthday wishes <33 how was your guys week?? okay love you bye

“Ashy you’re overreacting,” Calum slurred, trying to rest his hand on Ashton’s shoulder in a comforting way but he missed by at least a foot.

“Are you fucking kidding me? I go to the bathroom and come back to find you with your hands on some girls waist and you’re fucking giggling in her neck?! And to top that off, you’re so drunk!” Ashton said, trying to keep his anger to a minimum considering he was slightly drunk himself. 

“I was just having fun.”

“By flirting with a girl?”

“Oh my god,” Calum mumbled, dragging out the ‘o’. “Take a chill pill, I was just having fun.”

“You already said that and it’s in no way making things better.”

“God, why are you so upset?”

“Sorry I don’t like seeing my boyfriend hanging all over someone! Let alone a girl!” Ashton half shouted, his voice rising a level with each word he spoke. 

“I don’t like you being jealous of me, sorry I can’t control all this,” Calum said, gesturing to his body.

“What?”

“I mean my body wants what it wants sometimes.”

“Calum what are you implying? I can’t understand your drunken words.”

“She wanted to take me upstairs, I don’t know.”

Ashton’s heart dropped. “What?”

“She wanted me to put my dinga-lingey into her pouch,” Calum shrugged.

“And…and were you going to?”

“I don’t know. I love you, but I want sex too. I’m a boy, and my wee wee has been missing out.”

“Calum I can’t help I’m not ready to go that far. I’m not good with…those kind of situations. You know that.”

“Whatever, I need a drink,” Calum sighed, brushing past his distraught boyfriend.

Ashton quickly grabbed Calum’s elbow. “I want to go home.”

“Okay, so go home,” Calum replied, trying to shake his arm from Ashton’s grip (which was very hard considering it seemed that Ashton had multiple).

“Will you come with me?”

“I really need a drink.”

Ashton was going to cry. 

The alcohol mixed with Calum’s previous words and now his refusal to go home with Ashton was just not a good thing.

“Please, Cal?”

“I need a drink,” Calum repeated once again before finally breaking from Ashton’s grip and heading to the kitchen.

Ashton was going to cry.

-X-

“L-luke?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you find me? I n-need to go home.”

“Me too. Meet me outside, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

-X-

When Ashton finally found his friend outside, he was surprised to find his friend crying as well. 

“Oh Lukey,” Ashton muttered, embracing his friend in bone crushing hug. “What happened?”

“Michael…he…he was doing things with Elliott,” Luke sobbed into Ashton’s neck.

“Like what, bubbah?”

“He was sucking him off.”

“Oh no,” Ashton mumbled, hugging Luke tighter. “Deep breathes, deep breathes.”

Luke sniffled. “Why are you crying?”

“Calum was hanging all over a girl. And basically called me out because I won’t have sex.”

“And he knows about your anxiety, right?”

“I’ve mentioned it before, yeah.”

“Dickhead,” Luke mumbled, face still buried in Ashton’s neck.

They stayed like that for a while, just holding each other in the other’s arms with the absence of their significance others. They both love each other a lot, but the situation would be better if Michael was holding Luke and Calum was holding Ashton. But things don’t always have a happy ending, now do they?

Finally, Ashton broke from the hug, pushing Luke an arm’s distance away, his abnormally large hands resting on the younger boys broad shoulders.

“Listen to me, it’s gonna be okay, yeah?”

Luke looked at his black converse before meeting Ashton’s gaze. 

“Yeah.”

But he just wasn’t so sure.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really like my writing in this chapter idk man idk. comment and let me know what you think <3

12:03 PM

Ca$h Money <3: babe I’m super hungover but I wanna see you

12:36 PM

Ca$h Money <3: ashy I miss you why aren’t you replying

1:02 PM

Ca$h Money <3: hello?????

2:17 PM

Ca$h Money <3: did I so something bad??

-X-

(4) Missed calls from ‘Ca$h Money’ 

-X-

Ashton was sad. He might’ve been overreacting, in fact he was, but he was still sad.

Why would Calum say what he did? People usually have no filter when they’re drunk, so he couldn’t use the excuse he was making things up. 

It’s just, the thing is, is that Calum used to be a proper dick until he changed – and that’s what worried Ashton. Had he really changed fully? If so, why would he not be understanding that Ashton wasn’t ready for sex considering his anxiety? It made him seem like all he cared about was sex. Yes, Ashton knew Calum loved him, but why was he upset that they hadn’t had sex yet? They would eventually, obviously, so why was it such a big deal that they would have to wait a little?

Ashton was upset, and he just wanted to cuddle his boyfriend, but he couldn’t because he decided he needed to have space from him to figure things out.

There was always the option of cuddling Luke, but they had spent the whole night doing that and Luke was currently at Michael’s to ‘talk’. Who knows what the hell that means.

Ashton then decided that maybe he should drum, because that was always a good coping skill for him. It would distract him from the negative thoughts and creeping anxiety along with putting him in a happy place.

Treading up the stairs, Ashton finally made it to his room where his drum kit sat. He finally made his way to the stool behind it, sitting down and picking up his sticks. He didn’t really know what to play, so he just started hitting the drums and ended up playing to the beat of American Idiot. It was a pretty intense song to drum to, so Ashton found himself getting into the music, head bobbing, sweat rising on his upper lip and forehead. He even started to hum along to the tune, matching his pitches to the boom boom of his drums. 

Just as Ashton got to the line where he sang “I’m not fucking okay”, he noticed something weird. 

Calum Hood stood in his doorway.

Of course, this made Ashton come to a sudden stop, drum sticks falling from his hands, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted. 

“As much as it’s making my head hurt, you drumming is really fucking hot.”

Ashton looked away from Calum, closing his mouth and trying to make an angry face (which made him look like a puppy and Calum tried not to aw).

“Why have you been ignoring me?” Calum asked, walking into the room and sitting on Ashton’s bed, making it creek and groan.

“M’not.”

“Yes you are. You always answer my texts and you especially answer my calls.”

“My phones been off.”

“That’s bull.”

Ashton shrugged.

“Ashton did I do something last night? I don’t know what else I could’ve done to make you this upset.”

Ashton looked out the window.

“Ashton, look at me. We need to talk about this, I hate seeing you upset.”

Ashton shrugged again.

“For fucks sake, will you just look at me?” Calum angrily sighed, suddenly appearing in front of Ashton, hands lightly gripping his face and making the older boy look at him. “Just tell me what I did. Please.”

Ashton shoved his partner away from him and stood up, anger and sadness finally building up in him and exploding. “I thought you of all people would understand, but apparently not.”

“What?”

“Is sex all you care about then? If so, why stay with me? Why not be with someone who will fuck you whenever you want it?”

“What?” Calum whispered, flabbergasted. “What the fuck are you talking about? I’m with you because I’m in love with you. What does that have to do with sex?”

“Last night, at the party, you got upset with me because I wouldn’t have sex with you.”

“What?”

“Stop acting like you don’t know, it’s fucking annoying! You know I have anxiety Calum, you know I’m not like everyone else, I can’t just have sex because we said I love you. I’m not ready.”

“Ash I know that, I know you have your stuff you’re dealing with and I respect that. I don’t know why I said whatever I did; I was drunk and I get dramatic when I’m like that so I was just overreacting to my needs. Yes, I do want to have sex with you, but not now. Only when you’re a hundred percent ready.”

“I’m not ready, Cal, I’m not ready,” Ashton whispered, shaking his head.

“Baby I know that, and I’m so sorry for being such a dick, just sit down for a little now, okay?”

“I’m not ready I’m not ready,” Ashton repeated, and it was then that Calum noticed the slight shake in Ashton’s hands and the way it looked like he was gulping for air like a fish out of water.

“Babe, take a deep breathe, sit down,” Calum said, trying to reach out for Ashton and bring him to the bed where he could hopefully lay and calm down. Would that work? Oh god, Calum didn’t know, he’d never really been in this situation.

“I’m not ready! I can’t, I’m not ready!” Ashton said louder, still gasping for air as tears filled his eyes and the little butterflies of anxiety building in his stomach turned into a stampede of elephants. “I’m not ready!”

“Ash-”

Ashton suddenly dropped to the floor, immediately reclining in a ball, eyes squeezed shut as tears dripped from his eyes to his nose to the red carpet underneath him.

“Oh, god, Ashy,” Calum breathed, dropping to his knees and crawling over to his shaking boyfriend. 

Calum picked Ashton up, placing the smaller boy on his lap and in his arms, holding him tight and letting him cry onto his shoulder.

“I know baby, I know you’re not ready. It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s going to be okay,” Calum whispered, resting his head on Ashton’s as he tried not to cry himself. Seeing his boyfriend like this because of him made him want to cry and scream and shout, but he knew he couldn’t right now, so instead he held Ashton closer to his body. 

They stayed like that for a while; Ashton in Calum’s arms as Calum whispered what he loved about Ashton and about how he was going to be okay, how they were going to be okay.

After another thirty minutes, Ashton’s crying and shaking had stopped, and his breathing had returned to normal. His eyes were still screwed shut, but it was progress, and that’s all Calum wanted.

“Was that a panic attack?” Calum asked, intertwining a hand with Ashton’s, the other one still supporting him in his lap. 

Ashton squeezed Calum’s hand, nodding slightly. 

Calum squeezed Ashton’s hand back, kissing all over his face.

“Have you been taking your meds?”

Ashton nodded again, a small whimper coming from his mouth. 

“Maybe you should talk to your doctor about switching, yeah? I don’t know much about this stuff, but I don’t think they’re working if you’re having panic attacks.” 

Ashton nodded again, gripping Calum by the shirt and pulling him impossibly closer.

“We’ll work on this together, okay? You’ll get through this, and I’ll be with you every step of the way,” Calum mumbled, drawing patterns on Ashton’s back with the hand that was supporting him. 

“I love you, Ashton,” Calum continued. “I love you so much, I’m not leaving, I love you I love you I love you.”

And Ashton just held Calum closer because he couldn’t form words, a single thought floating around in his mind and dancing on his lips wanting to be told:

He was so, so in love with Calum Hood.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read or not idk

i really liked the previous chapter i wrote but no one commented so i guess no one really liked it. so if some people comment/show they like it i'll keep it up and if not i'll probably delete it by monday. xoxoxoxox


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super super SUPER short filler because......................................................................next chapter is the last chapter )): BUT DONT WORRY BECAUSE IT WILL BE SUPER LONG (and might take a while to write so please bare with me)

Luke and Michael had agreed on it together.

They were going to be just friends.

While everything was happening with Ashton and Calum, Luke and Michael had a little discussion. Michael had explained Elliott and him hadn’t done anything when Luke walked in, that his pants were simply down because they were going to but didn’t. Elliott was (like Michael had said) (moaned) good with his mouth, so what he was doing felt great but he hadn’t done anything down…there.  
Luke decided on the friend’s thing. Michael wasn’t very keen on the idea considering he was still in love with Luke, but he agreed it was for the best if it was what his Lukey wanted. If they were meant to be, they would try things out again when they were both ready.

They were just friends, but things were good.

-X-

Today was Friday which meant time for another game of football. 

But, it wasn’t just any type of football; this one was more intense. 

Calum had college scouts at the game to watch him, and Ashton was pretty sure he was more nervous than his boyfriend. 

This was a huge deal. Calum had people watch him in the past, but no one that was ever serious about offering him a scholarship to uni.

Ashton was front row in the bleachers, fingers in his mouth as he nibbled on his already stumpy nails. Luke had a calming arm wrapped loosely around Ashton’s shoulders, and although the heat was unbearable and Ashton was already sweating buckets, he didn’t mind the contact. What he did mind was the amount of people watching Calum.

There was at least eight people on the sidelines, all wearing hats and sweatshirts of schools he recognized. Except for one, but he figured it was just farther away. Plus, he didn’t really know that many colleges around considering he wasn’t planning on going to school once he graduated. He had bigger, better plans and things he wanted to do and believed that college wasn’t for him. His mum understood, and so did Calum and Luke, so he was happy.

Now back to the game.

Calum was in the middle of the team circle, riling everyone up for the big game considered they were playing their rival team (whose team name was the fucking Kangaroos).

The game started in a mere amount of seconds and Ashton was pretty sure he had no fingernails left. 

With 20 seconds left before the game, Calum and his team finished there cheer, and Calum was currently heading over to the bleachers where his boyfriend sat.

“Hey,” Calum greeted, jumping up and grabbing on the railing so he wouldn’t fall. “Do I get a good luck kiss?”

Ashton giggled before meeting Calum half way, taking his cheeks (while purposely brushing his jawline because who wouldn’t) with shaky hands and kissed him long and hard.

When they broke apart Calum was smiling ear to ear, so he pecked Ashton on the lips before hopping off with a “I’ll see you after the game Ashy”.

Ashton mouthed good luck to his partner before he was gone.

Calum jogged to the center of the field while everyone else got into their positions.

Eventually the whistle blew.

And eventually the game started.

-X-  
Ashton asks himself ‘how’ a lot.

How did he get so lucky? How is Calum his boyfriend? How was Calum even real?

Long story short, Calum played like a beast. He scored 5 of the 6 goals including the winning one. The one goal he did not shoot he assisted, he had multiple amazing passes, played great defense when needed, and was overall a fucking star. 

Ashton was so in love. He was so happy to the point he was crying as soon as Calum’s teammates lifted him in the air, and he was still crying a little when he went to bed snuggled next to his amazing, perfect boyfriend. 

But Ashton had also done a lot of thinking in the process of this craziness, and had realized something.

It was time.


End file.
